Post # 1
I don’t think this is the right forum, but I don’t see a specific ‘family’ thread and judged ‘realtionships’ to be the best bet.
My poor SO hasn’t had any work since November, and since that time has been living off his savings (which isn’t much) … he’s still ’employed’ and thus there’s no where he can get help, so he’s doing the best he can with what he’s got, and we’re hoping his boss will be able to arrange something later this week. In that time he’s been living with his father, which was all well and good untill his father got engaged – since that time he’s been talking about moving to a new place, and my SO had been hoping that it would be an arrangement with him in mind.
That was until today, his father told him that he wants him to move out, and back to his mother’s – and she has a full house, but she’ll figure something out as it’s better then him being on the streets. I’d always thought that his dad was a nice person, but this is totally given me a new view on him, and we’re all shocked that he will not and can not wait untill my SO is back on his feet … we’re all in a state of shock about this, and SO is really not in a good place right now – he doesn’t know what he’s going to do any more.
All I can do is be there for him, and hope that things get better – it’s hard though … things have been tough for us, and it feels like we’re never going to get that break where we can finally afford to get engaged and married 🙁
Post # 3
@ForeverWaiting: can he stay with you temporarily? And why can’t he get part time work until his normal job opens baack up? he can do customer service or wait tables, tend bar. There are options.
Post # 4
Unfortuately not, I’m with a host family due to me being a internetional student in the US.
He couldn’t do part time at first as up ’till december he was studying for a certification for his job, and he was hoping that work would pick up with the new year – but of course that didn’t happen and he was stuck waiting on news from his boss. I’ll discuss him looking at part time, but I think he’ll wait until after he talks with his boss some time next week (providing he calls that is)
Post # 5
@ForeverWaiting: Like our Grandparents managed to do, you tough it out. Things are always worse for someone else. As far as getting married, you obviously need to wait a few years till your both on your feet.
Post # 6
I’m aware that we need to wait Mrowland123 … it’s just painful for him to get this new job, getting to the point of stability, and then to have that pulled out from under you – we’ve been together 9 years, and approching our 30’s … how would you feel to have this stuff thrown at you when both you and your SO want to move on to the next part of life
Edit: It’s back to waiting, but at this point I feel like I’m steeling myself for the next thing to go wrong
Post # 7
@ForeverWaiting: Just wanted to say I’m sorry and that I hope you both figure something out soon. It can be tough, especially since sometimes it feels like not so great things will keep on happening, but they will look up, promise! Good luck and don’t give up hoping!
Post # 8
Do try to look at it from his father’s point of view, though. An adult approaching 30 years old who has lost his primary income should be looking for at least part-time work, regardless of school/studies or anything else going on, as opposed to bouncing back and forth between parents. Perhaps your SO’s father timed his decision in this way to help “light a fire” under your SO’s butt and help encourage him to step up? Of course we would all love to have our parents’ support while we go through financial difficulties, but I am not convinced that my own mother would not do the same, if I were not actually trying to find work. That attitude may work when you’re 19 and just starting college; but it is a lot less of a legitimate excuse when you’re a grown man or woman nearing 30.
I just can’t get on board with the “he couldn’t work part time because of his studies” thing, considering his (and your) age, as countless students and apprentices manage to balance full-time work and full-time studies without dying of exhaustion. If your SO’s father shares my values, this may not be the last of your unpleasant surprises as you go through life together. I would focus all of my energy on how the two of you, as a couple, can support a life together without help from parents or host families. Life throws far fewer surprises at you when you are in control of your finances.