(Closed) SO is at his lowest point

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1583 posts
Bumble bee

@ForeverWaiting:  can he stay with you temporarily? And why can’t he get part time work until his normal job opens baack up? he can do customer service or wait tables, tend bar. There are options.

Post # 5
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: December 2018

@ForeverWaiting:  Like our Grandparents managed to do, you tough it out. Things are always worse for someone else. As far as getting married, you obviously need to wait a few years till your both on your feet.

Post # 7
Member
1059 posts
Bumble bee

@ForeverWaiting:  Just wanted to say I’m sorry and that I hope you both figure something out soon. It can be tough, especially since sometimes it feels like not so great things will keep on happening, but they will look up, promise! Good luck and don’t give up hoping!

Post # 8
Member
3887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Do try to look at it from his father’s point of view, though.  An adult approaching 30 years old who has lost his primary income should be looking for at least part-time work, regardless of school/studies or anything else going on, as opposed to bouncing back and forth between parents. Perhaps your SO’s father timed his decision in this way to help “light a fire” under your SO’s butt and help encourage him to step up?  Of course we would all love to have our parents’ support while we go through financial difficulties, but I am not convinced that my own mother would not do the same, if I were not actually trying to find work.  That attitude may work when you’re 19 and just starting college; but it is a lot less of a legitimate excuse when you’re a grown man or woman nearing 30.

I just can’t get on board with the “he couldn’t work part time because of his studies” thing, considering his (and your) age, as countless students and apprentices manage to balance full-time work and full-time studies without dying of exhaustion.  If your SO’s father shares my values, this may not be the last of your unpleasant surprises as you go through life together. I would focus all of my energy on how the two of you, as a couple, can support a life together without help from parents or host families.  Life throws far fewer surprises at you when you are in control of your finances.

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