- 5 years ago
I posted the talk post few days ago, and I got 90% people saying I should walk. 6 years and both close to 30, shouldn’t he know by now? Situation is just a little different now … I think.
Anyway, he stopped by to make some reservations for our trip(s), and finalize things. After we finally decided on the destination and when he was about to go home, he said the time line is okay for him, and he wants to have a family someday but there is somethings he needs to figure out. I don’t know exactly what it is though. He can’t really explain this either. Instead, we talked about moving in together. I said I will need to get engaged within a year after we move in. SO is like, “it will be even before that if we work well together”. This could be good or bad or make things really clear although I am slightly conflicted because I don’t want to settle for less right?
In fact, he first talked to me about this few months ago when we’re having a dinner with his co-worker(whom I met for the first time) “Yeah, we’re walking around the area where we can live” I’ve mentioned living together few years ago when he moved to where I am, and time to time, then forgot about it. Then he brought it up in front of this guy I don’t know and I was like…”What? when did we decide this?” Then I said not to decide something so important without discussing with me…
Which makes me think again that SO is also kinda guy who takes things very very very slow (in a lot of things like ordering food), it seems like he needs a long processing time which puts me on edge. He needs a lot of little pushes and pat pat to finish something when it comes to doing something with me and very concerned if it will make me happy. Anyway, we both are introverted and like alone time, and need it so much so that “I think I need like 2 hours of alone time before I can get to bed” kinda situation.
In my previous relationship I lived with ex bf for about a year before I broke things off. I really really needed a room to breathe, and couldn’t take the fact that I would see him at home at all times. Obviously, it was also that his life was not established and felt he wan’t growing up. I’ve been scared that it might happen to me again where I am just turned off in the end.
So I wasn’t really thrilled with this living together idea before marriage, but strangely, this feels right at this moment. Obviously, I don’t know if we will do this until we really move in (because we went to apartment hunting a few times past two years and still don’t live together. talking about taking the steps slow!), but if it happens, I think I can consider it as a big stpe forward.