- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2014
So after much soul searching and some serious discussion with the SO…I have decided to return to the hive…When i last left SO and i were have major problems, and were constantly arguing about a moving situation…and issues with his parents… Well…we talked….for about 6 hours…we cried…and made alot of decisions…
O the moving situation…the day i told him he had two weeks to decide…I got home from work to my(well our) house and he had moved all of his things in, and cleaned the house, and bought me a huge boquet of white gerbera daisies….and we sat down and had a huge talk and, after 6 hours of talking, laughing, crying, and having a genuine talk…we are stronger than ever…severalthings came out of that talk.
1.) he didnt realize he was being such an ass about the move and about the living situation, becuase he was afraid he was going to loose his job, for about 3 weeks, and he didnt tell me because he didnt want to add aditional stress on me. and evertime we talked he didnt want to tell me that it was because he was afraid of what would happen with his job, hes a farmer and if he lost this job…in this economy farmers arent bringing on help like they used too….
2.) his dad was being weird to me, for the same reason….they just bought a house like a year ago…and his dad is the sole bread winner of the family, and is a typical german male which i understand because my father is the same way…both men would rather me think they are mad at me then to admitt they are scared. his job was also onthe line (they work for the same place), and he was also scared he was going to lose his job, do to some unexpected inspections, and many talks about having to lay people off, and talks about HUGE Fines for the company…all of which have been adverted…and his big reason was they have offered to pay for half the wedding when we get engaged and married…and he was feeling like a failure….
3.) the situation with his mom, well his mom is an alcoholic and had been sober and in AA meetings, for a year…and in the last month has fallen back pretty deeply into her alcoholism, and i dont believe will be able to quit again… shes now drinking heavier than she ever has….and this was also stressing the SO and Future Father-In-Law out…trying to hide it for me…as that was a huge part in the hold up for us planning a wedding…between eloping or an actual ceremony for fear of her drinking…
and then we talked about the future….he brought it up….he admitted he was treating me like dirt and the fact that i was willing to live alone because of how he was acting due to the stess…made him re-evaluate his priorities and his timeline for things….he now wants to get engaged sooner, and married sooner, as opposed to another 3 years before engagement and then 3-4more years for the wedding…considering we have been together for 5 years and are 24 and 25…and now he has said…that he actually has about 90% of the money saved up for my my custom engagement ring and wedding band…and will have the rest after his next pay check…on monday…and we are probably going to order it officially in the next week…and then the wait will be on for it to come in…and for the proposal…which he has now said will be probably this fall, or next spring or early summer…which i respect…becuase he was honest…with me that the proposal he says hes been dreaming of for 3 years involves certain things alling…all i know is it has something to do with his corn crops…which tassel and are harvested in the fall…and planted in the late spring and early summer….so i will give him that…he has finally listened to me and respected me on my wishes and concerns and conceded that alot of the reason he was telling me that it would be longer, was because he wanted it to be a complete suprise to me…and since i got to help him custom make the ring desing…he wanted the rest to have me in the dark, because he wanted my input on the ring. because it is something that i will wear for the rest of my life….and he wanted it to be what i would want to wear…even though i would be content with a plain band…he wanted it to represent his love for me, which is why we chose a sapphire for everything they represent….
so all in all…life is good…and im back on the bee…though…i can not figure out for the life of me how to get my old username and account back, because i have changed email accounts and deleted a few, and i can not for the life of me remember, the password since i deactivated it, or which email i used (i only have like 6, lol…but in my defense, 1 is for work, 1 is my school account, i have a personal and professional account, and a few i havent opened in years that i have no clue how to close…)