(Closed) SO keeps moving engagement… FRUSTRATED & NEED ADVICE!

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 19
Member
31 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@BEE485:  Well there you go Laughing  The new business being all-consuming, guys are not good at multitasking! Glad to see you’re getting the issue sorted out!

Post # 20
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

Why are you trying for a baby with a dude who won’t even marry you? Don’t do that.

Post # 21
Member
32 posts
Newbee

Ladies,

 

“Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle”


 

Post # 24
Member
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@distracts:  This.  There is definitely some cog. dis. going on.  If you have to go to the Internet for relationship advice, something is seriously wrong.

Post # 25
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Anise:  Yeah… plus the fact that she believes him now that he says he has a big proposal planned and coming up, even though he has already said that and failed to come through twice. After the second time, I would not be able to believe him.

Post # 26
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m sorry if you took what I said as catty. It was only my honest opinion based upon the facts given.

Post # 27
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@BEE485:  “Thank you for your responses, however, being catty after appearing to be helpful isn’t the most desirable trait in a female.”

I’ve tried to leave this comment alone but I can’t. Is this a desirable trait in a male? If not, why bother gendering it when you could have just ended at “isn’t the most desirable trait.” It makes you sound sexist.

Post # 28
Member
1883 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

So far, he has lead you on. He broke a couple of major promises to you already in regards to your future. That does not bode well for things to come. Actions speak louder than words. All the things he says sound nice, but I think he is trying to have his cake and eat it, too. I have heard many women on here who moved in with a man, and are away from their families. It is in essence a divide and conquer situation. He may be thinking that “you aren’t going anywhere” because you already invested so much into the relationship. I have been there, and I never will do that again. Anyway, I think you are right with your timetable. He is claiming he has a ring and is ready to propose. This sounds like he is buying time. Quite frankly, I have seen men propose marriage to a woman just to prevent her from leaving, and so that she will continue put up with his crap. It sounds like he loves you, but he may not be ready for marriage or deep down he is unsure if you are the one. Sometimes a man will date a woman for 10 years, never marry her, and when they break up he marries the next girl he dates after a year or two… I am the most concerned about the broken promises because now you can’t believe his words anymore. Please, do NOT have children with him unless he gives you a REAL commitment… I am really sorry, I know you must have been so sad and disappointed when he never proposed. 

Post # 29
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’m confused. You came here looking for advice, got it and then came back and scolded everyone because your man is so wonderful and doesn’t have comitment issues? Okay dear, hat makes no sense. If he was so great with no comittmemment issues you’d have a ring on your finger no? This thread makes no sense.,

Post # 30
Member
2936 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

@mixtapehearts:  +1 

sorry, but it is pointless to ask for advice and then scold the bees when they stated their opinion on the matter. These bees were not trying to be mean. You obviously have had a change of heart since your original post, which is fine, but if you know he’s going to propose and aren’t worried then delete the thread. it’s rediculous to keep it up and fight with people. It’s your life and you make your decisions. My only advice is not to Ttc until you have the ring, children are forever. Hope it all works out! 

Post # 31
Member
726 posts
Busy bee

@BEE485:  Hmm, I read your entire post and all of the replies and I don’t feel that any of the bees replies were “catty”. You asked them what they would do and they said they wouldn’t trust those traits in their SO if he had already broken promises on proposing in two different occassions and they’d leave him. Probably because they’d no longer trust him and feel disappointed, which you stated you were disappointed in him. 

 

I’m glad you spoke with him and he’s told you (again) that the proposal is coming, but in all honestly, with two already broken promises of proposing, I wouldn’t be holding my breath if I were you. I honestly hope he keeps his promise this time. 

 

 

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@prettyinpink11:  +1 

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