- 5 years ago
So I work at a high stress job where I have 7 people contantly asking me to do 10 different things at the same time. It is not at all uncommon for me to have a backlog of 2-4 full days of work. I have this one guy who I work with who is new to the company and he’s condescending, lazy, and impossible to work with. He asks me to do things he 100% should be able to do himself and that 100% aren’t in my job description and when I try to tell him that I’m overloaded with other stuff to do, he just says “well I don’t know how.” If I don’t do it, it seriously won’t get done, and it needs to be done! So, I end up doing it. He keeps trying to change things up that clash/contradict our company’s branding. When I point out that it’s that way across the board for a reason, he says “well that’s why I’m changing it. I want it to stand out.” 99.9% of the time, the changes he has me make end up being changed back becuase the others on the team hate them, so that’s twice the work for me. He makes inappropriate jokes (ex: boss was at a doctor’s appointment and he said “oh, does he have AIDS?” – uhhh no clue how to respond to that one) and complains to me about how he’s making less here than his last job, he “jokes” repeatedly about how he hopes I don’t rob him (because I need access to some personal info in order to do my job), and is all around offensive to me. When I ask questions or try to guide him back towards the company line (that we’ll end up back at anyway) he “mansplains” like you wouldn’t belive and goes into such detail that it’s literally like he’s explaining the concept marketing itself or why we need logos (“because people are visual”) etc. It’s so patronizing. Unfortunately, the way my team is structured, there’s no real opportunity for his behavior to be checked by me personally, and the head honcho guy doesn’t micromanage (which is usually a great thing).
Anyway, as I’m not the boss, I just put up with him, try to guide him when I can, and do what I can for him, while balancing my workload of the other 6 co-workers. There’s nothing I can do, so I’m not going to make waves. Everyone else agrees that he’s obnoxious and often come to aplogize when they ask me to re-do everything he just had me do. They try to work with him, but he’s difficult to them too.
Anyway, the way I deal is sometimes I call my SO when it’s particulary bad, and just vent to him so that I can get it off my chest and get back to work without it driving me nuts. He has taken to “playing the devil’s advocate” so with everything I say about this co-worker, he goes “well maybe he just…xyz.” This really bugs me because it feels like he’s telling me that this annoying guy is right, and I’m the one with the problem. When I say that it’s condescending for him to do things like explain to me what marketing is, he counters with “well maybe he feels you’re being condescending by asking him why he wants to xyz” (in my defense, I was asking him why he wanted to remove a VITAL part of our presentation, that every single other presentaiton we’ve done inculdes. It’s required.) Today it got so bad that he was starting to jump in and tell me why I might have been in the wrong BEFORE I even got to my point. I told him “nevermind, this isn’t productive. I just wanted to vent, not hear how everything could potentially be my fault” he said “oh well my bad for playing the devils advocate… sorry I’m incapable of letting you vent ‘properly'” in a sarcastic tone. Then he hung up.
Do I have a right to be annoyed about this? How can I phrase it to him that what he’s doing is the opposite of helpful to me? I guess the simplist solution would be to not vent to him anymore, but I feel like I’m going crazy trying to be nice to this guy and he’s really the only person who I can talk to about it. I guess this whole post is really a vent. Sorry!
- This topic was modified 4 years, 10 months ago by independentwoman.