(Closed) So Lost :(

posted 8 years ago in Family
Post # 3
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

hmm.. I was in a similar situation. One of my bridesmaids is gf of SO’s best man. Anyway, it turned out that he had cheated on her. SO was going to ask him to step down but he waited and in the end she forgaave him. I totally understand where you’re coming from and my situation was different since they aren’t married (they do have a baby together, though). I think you should wait and let them fix their problems and see what happens. But if you really cant have her stand there with you knowing that she broke her marriage vows then you should let her know. Just be open with her and explain how you feel.

Post # 5
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think you should calm down a bit considering that this is still just a rumor. And if it is true, the only person she really has to answer to about it is her husband. I don’t think you can really kick your FI’s twin out of the wedding because she cheated on her husband. Is it a horrible thing for her to do? Yes. Does it affect you or her ability to be MOH? Not really.

If my Fiance cheated I too would find it to be inforgiveable – but the only person’s forgiveness she needs is her husbands, even if this rumor is true I think it would be best to keep the drama to a minimum and stay out of it – whether her actions are good or bad she is still your FI’s twin and will be your family for life, and kicking her out of your wedding is not a good way to start your relationship with her.

Post # 6
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Her life is her own. She doesn’t owe anyone but her husband an explanation for her behavior. Plus, this is still just in the rumor phase, correct? Why get so worked up about it now before you have all the facts? I’m sure her personal life won’t affect her Maid/Matron of Honor abilities in any which way.

Post # 8
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@MrsBucket2B: It just sounds like you’re getting too emotionally involved in someone else’s private life. Save yourself the worry and focus on your wedding and future marriage. Maid/Matron of Honor doesn’t usually fill the role of moral/spiritual advisor/relationship counselor, she’s just supposed to make your day run more smoothly.

Post # 9
6065 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

@KatyElle: I agree with you and others that this is getting too involved in someone else’s personal life (that is still just a rumor)

However, I think many people see a Maid/Matron of Honor a much more than someone to make the day run smoothly. My Fiance and I take very seriously the people we choose to stand beside us on that day. I wanted my Maid/Matron of Honor to be someone who has supported me in my life and who was a genuine friend.

Although, having said this- I’m not sure I would be so invested in my MOH’s personal issues as long as she was a true friend to me…

Post # 11
1747 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

No one is perfect.

A true friend walks in when the whole world walks out.  Maybe instead of engaging in nasty gossip, you should just be the best friend you can be and expect the same from her.

Post # 12
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Sounds like your mind is made up either way? You seem to have your opinion of her.

Post # 13
153 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

How does your Fiance feel about you kicking his twin sister out of the weddign party?

Post # 16
2052 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m sorry this is a frustrating circumstance for you. Speaking of honor: What would be the honorable thing for you to do, as the bride? Ask her to step down for what is “pretty much not a rumor”? Or forgive her supposed action and focus on your wedding? If there is to be any awkwardness between her and her husband as they are both in the bridal party, perhaps you can leave it to them to decide for themselves if that is an issue worth broaching to you and your fiancé.

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