(Closed) So mad!

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Please tell me you’re joking. They’ve been together for 12 years and are choosing to get married. That sounds like a pretty great thing, actually. How is this in any way related to your wedding that’s 9 months away?

Post # 4
Member
529 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I wouldn’t be mad……I’m trying to figure out why your are. I thought you were going to say that it was going to be on the same day or same month. I’m with UpstateCait, I don’t get why you would be upset.

Post # 5
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Yeah, is there more to the story here? They have been together for 12 years, it’s not like they just met and are getting married a week before you.

Post # 6
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I can kind of see the “why would they pick now after 12 years” side of this and I think that’s a legitimate question for them. But of they’re getting married in six weeks it does seem like itliekely an understated affair 9 months before your wedding, which doesn’t seem like that big a deal. Announcing their engagement at your baby shower is a little eye roll inducing, and I’m fussing this is a bit of a “straw that broke the camels back” scenario that we’re not getting full context here?

Post # 7
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think what the OP is trying to express is that she feels like her dads Girlfriend is a 1 upper.. (maybe Im wrong?) At her baby shower the Girlfriend announces her engagement. She sets a date for her wedding and then so does the Girlfriend. Now, I dont know the dynamic of you, your dad and his gf, but maybe it was all just a coincidence? What type of relationship do you and your dads gf have?

Post # 8
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’d be mad about her announcing the wedding at your baby shower. That’s in pretty poor taste.

Post # 9
Member
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

The way I read it…kinda seems like they were waiting for you to pick your date so their wedding wouldn’t interfere at all with yours. Obviously I don’t know any of the people in question but it doesn’t seem overly malicious to me (now if she had picked the week before your wedding…that would be a different story)

Post # 11
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

The only argument that I see here is announcing at the baby shower. That wasn’t cool but nothing else in the OP seems rage worthy. 

Post # 12
Member
5096 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@JacallyL:  If they’re getting married in six weeks, they won’t be upstaging you – there will be 8 months between their wedding and yours.

I believe you that she feels threatened and tries to one-up you, but in this case she won’t succeed unless you let it bother you.

Post # 13
Member
2605 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I’d be pissy about the baby shower thing.

The wedding thing, as you’ll hear over and over on the ‘bee, you can’t do anything about because you get a day–not a week, month, year etc. So if your dad’s girlfriend were to choose the day right before yours, yeah, it’d be sorta obnoxious, but you’d have to deal. Six weeks, however, when you’ve got nine months doesn’t even seem obnoxious to me because the two events are pretty far apart.

 

Although, you could be right about her one-upmanship. There are some women out there who DO feel threatened by their SO’s children because they’re not “#1.” Yes, it’s not really an appropriate way to feel because as you say–it’s not a competition–plus if you want to be with someone with children, then their children become your children….But this woman has been waiting around for 12 years? Yeah, she might be a little insecure about her status in your dad’s eyes.

Post # 15
Member
8042 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@JacallyL:  Ok, maybe announcing their marriage at your baby shower was a bit rude, but at least they’re not getting married in the same month or anything.

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