(Closed) So mad!!!!! Need to vent!

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

That’s really difficult, I’m sorry.  You’re totally right, she can have all the tantrums she wants, but it’s not her wedding, she doesn’t “deserve” anything but respect, and she needs to back off and be more supportive of you if she wants you to take her seriously.

Post # 5
Member
1089 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Sisters are hard to deal with some times. I have 5….. :S it gets frustrating because the 2nd oldest (I am the oldest) And she is a very selfish, Me me me person. It drives me up the wall. 

:S Sorry you are going through this. Kudos to the text you sent tho! It is way nicer than the one I would have.

Post # 7
Member
1089 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

@mcj040916:  My friend had a bridesmaid that started acting like a little bag and she would never come to things and complained about every decision the bride made. She made the brides wedding planing way more stressful than it needed to be. The bride actually ended up kicking her out of her wedding party 3 weeks before the wedding. It was crazy! The bridesmaid was being horrible to her.

By sending her that text you gave her an out. So now it is in her hands does she want to stand up and be there for you? Or does she want to back out? And really that is a fair decision to make. You don’t want some one to stand up for you because the want the title. You want them to genuinely be there for you. So hopefully that makes her wake up a little and start acting like your Maid/Matron of Honor.

Post # 7
Member
1089 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

Double Post

Oh and you are not being a bridezilla. She is being unsupportive. A bridezilla would have kicked her out already. 🙂

 

Post # 10
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mcj040916:  That really sucks.  My mom does things like that a lot, I understand how frustrating it is to need support from her and not get it.  I’d go nuts if my sister behaved the way yours is behaving!  

Does your sister know that you feel this way because you value her as your sister?  Maybe she thinks you are only putting her in the wedding party as a default, but it sounds like it actually means a lot to you that you guys be close as sisters.  Perhaps you guys can do some Not Wedding Related stuff so that she understands that even if you weren’t getting married now you would want her active in your life.

Maybe she just can’t stand weddings.  Or maybe she can’t stand not being the center of attention, in which case she can suck it up and deal, it’s your turn to be in the spotlight right now and you’re not being a bridezilla by calling her on her selfishness.  When I was Maid/Matron of Honor for my best friend, I considered it my job to deal with a couple of bridesmaids who took this sort of stance so that she didn’t have to feel bad about straining her relationships with them, but unfortunately, your Maid/Matron of Honor is the one who is doing this.  I hope that your text makes her really examine the way she’s treating you, because it’s not right for her to be this unsupportive without giving you a valid reason (like, your Fiance kicks puppies and that’s just not cool, or, your Fiance was on the FBI’s most wanted list and I’m not okay with that, or, I’m afraid your Fiance will hurt you and I don’t like that).

Post # 11
Member
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Frown I’m sorry sweetie, that really sucks.  Is your sister / Maid/Matron of Honor jealous of you getting married?  Are they prone to wanting attention?  Or do you think there’s another reason for her not being involved yet expecting special treatment?  I’m not trying to be mean at all (so I’m sorry if it sounds that way) just wondering if there’s something going on with her that is causing this?

Post # 13
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@mcj040916:  Man, that really sucks!  See, you are very clearly not being a bridezilla with her.  If you ever think you are, come back to this topic, you’re being extremely reasonable.

Lol, I love it when moms start on how they need your wedding to look good because their friends will be there.  “Gee, Ma, I was going to have it be crummy, but since your friends will be there I guess I’ll have my bridesmaids wear dresses instead of garbage bags.”  My mom just did this, the day after she told me we shouldn’t have a wedding because she doesn’t want to go through me getting divorced again.  “Gosh Mom, I totally was looking forward to getting divorced again but if you can’t deal with it I guess I just won’t get married ever again.  But if I do, I won’t serve your friends expired food.”

Post # 14
Member
728 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

ya my sister is very unreliable so i decided to make her a bridesmaids and have zero expectation… i even paid for her dress. all she has to do is show up

no expectation so i can’t be disappointed. 

🙁 good luck with your sister… maybe you guys need to phone call?

Post # 15
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Do we have the same sister? haha.  Mine was the same way, always wanting things her way.  Actually, she pulled the same exact line that she was the Maid/Matron of Honor and should get something different.  She even bought a different dress, buut nevver wore it haha.  My best advice, at least what worked for me was to calmly lay down the law with her.  Tell her that there are certain things that go along with being Maid/Matron of Honor, and explain what your expectations are. Tell her that you don’t want to inconvenience her or make her unhappy so she should take a few days, think over whether she wants to be in the wedding or not, then leave it at that.  Maybe even giver her a set amount of time, like call me back in three days when you’ve thought al of this over.  Just very firm, calm, and nice.  That’llprobably give her a wakeup call.

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