Post # 1
We had a stupid tiff. Both of us are tired from a long day of work. He’s in a hurry. He gets snappy with me. I say, “I don’t like how you got snappy.” He gets defensive. We begin to bicker. I’m dropping him off to be somewhere on time.
He gets out of car. I say: “You’re not even kissing me goodbye.”
He says: “Later. we’ll talk later.”
I roll down the window, expecting him to come back and give me a kiss goodbye.
He keeps walking, looks over his shoulder, and says again: “Later.”
I am LIVID that he could not bring himself to give me a kiss goodbye, even though we’re annoyed at each other. L I V I D
That I sat there looking at him, with my window rolled down, while he WALKED AWAY FROM ME, as I called his name. And he didn’t have the RESPECT to walk back and give me a f-ing kiss.
In his opinion, I make things worse by not just dropping it and letting him be in a pissy mood.
In MY opinion, HE makes it worse by walking away without kissing me goodbye.
Now i’m on my way to the same place wehre i dropped him off, because i have to be there in 30 minutes anyway. I’ll be booked there for the next 2 hours, he’ll be booked there for the next 2.5 hours. (we’re both working)
SO F-ING MAD AT HIM I CANT SEE STRAIGHT.
Help, bees!!!!! How do I deal right now??
Post # 3
he just texted me this: “Sorry baby…really…see you soon. I love you…just very stressed right now.”
hm. well, that calms me down a bit.
BUT HE STILL SHOULD BE ABLE TO KISS ME GOODBYE EVEN IF WE ARE ANNOYED WITH EACH OTHER. wtf.
now i feel slightly calmer in order to say this to him later.
i am not texting him back right now.
Post # 4
Ummmm, yeah, if i was mad with my husband, the last thing i’d want to do is kiss him. Especially if it’s something we need to discuss later. It’s just not something I force.And i don’t like to be mushed on when I’m mad. Heck, i don’t even get a goodbye kiss all the time, though, so….not a big deal to me? He’s pissed at you. Are you surprised he just wanted to leave and go to work?He has to cool down.
Sorry i know that’s not what you want to hear. It’s not ideal, but I don’t think it’s enough to say he’s being disrespectful when you called him back to the car or to get so upset over it. Just cuz you demand a kiss doesn’t mean you get one. He has to want to give you one and he didn’t want to. I’m sorry, i don’t see the issue. You can’t force him to kiss you. That won’t make it better. I think you’re mad he walked away from you.
Talk about it when you get home so he knows you found it disrespectful. But don’t be surprised when his only comeback is that he was mad.
Post # 5
ejs, this is why i like your replies. because it truly does calm me down to hear someone say, “Girl, chill. It’s not so bad” with a new perspective.
Now, on the other hand, there are probably quite a few people who would reply and say, “Yeah, that would piss me off too!!!”
Thing is, it could’v been diffused before ANYBODY was “mad,” because he could’ve just said, “Yeah, didn’t mean to get snappy. sorry if i did. i’m just very stressed and tired.”
AND GUESS WHAT, BUDDY—SO THE F AM I!!!! I was out in the hot sun with 300 kids ALL DAY LONG and am bloody EXHAUSTED. And then I have 2 more hours of work tonight ahead of me.
So when we’re BOTH tired and BOTH stressed, I hate when he gets all snippy/snappy with ME. we shoudl be supporting each other.
Post # 6
I’m kinda confused. We never kiss if we are in the middle of an argument or if one is mad…I would personally be more mad (livid as you say) that we had an argument, meaning the whole thing-not just him not coming over to kiss you. I would just talk about it when you are both calm. I think it’s nice he sent you that text msg. He said sorry!
Sorry you are having a rough day.
Post # 7
I can see the OP’s point but I can also relate to ejes4y8. Usually, I am the one who doesn’t want to “quick fix things with a kiss”. I want to kiss him AFTER we have talekd and resolved things. But he feels even if we are throwing chairs at each other (kidding) that he still wants to kiss me because he loves me so much and so when I see his sad eyes, I make sure to kiss him or say “I love you”. Although not in the same way I would if we weren’t in a tiff !
Post # 8
@Naturegirl Ahhh..so you are mad about the entire fight, not really just the kiss thing. I totally get that. Can you talk to him tonight and tell him how you feel and try to work on this “snappy” thing…tell him you have rough days too, and no need to snap? Good luck. 🙂
Post # 9
Jenn, you are right. True story. And I know we’ll talk later. I’m more irked that it escalated unnecessarily. So is he. He just doesn’t see how *he* contributed to the escalating.
Guess we are both learning still.
Post # 10
neither of us is cooled off yet. we’re both clearly still pissed at each other. we’re in public. he’s being courteous, i’m being cool. i started to tell him why i was upset, he got argumentative in response. boo. clearly now isn’t the time or place to clear up the issue. hopefully tonite. i hate when we get like this. 🙁
Post # 11
Sorry you are having such a rough time. Yep, I wouldn’t talk now while you are both still upset/mad. Try to cool down first and then talk. 🙂
Post # 12
I’m sorry,fights suck. Usually when I’m annoyed at my fi the last think i want to do is kiss him…I want to kick him in the shin.
Post # 13
Take a deep breath. I’m sure you will be able to work it out. Just remember that you are both probably really stressed out right now, so escalating an argument is much easier than it normally would be.
Post # 14
Well even if we are upset with each other we will kiss if one of us is leaving (but we will still let each other know that we still have an issue to address) . I guess that part of that is because we are in a LDR and the other part is that life is too short to walk around angry all day.
Post # 15
i am like some of the other bees. we do not kiss when we are upset, even if one of us is leaving.
it works for us, both of us need time to cool off, when we’re ready to talk it out, we kiss and makeup.
i think it’s enough that he realized that he upset you and sent you the text. as always, just tell him what you need even when you are arguing… it’s different with every couple.
Post # 16
Oh im glad i didn’t piss you off with my response. I was expecting women flinging crap at me. =]
You should totally be allowed to call each other out on crabby/snippiness. DH does to me! Sometimes i just feel like being a HUGE bitch and he tells me to stop being a stupid girl and I realize i’m just being a jerk to be one. it happens!
Cool down completely before you discuss this. Apologize for letting it escalate, for being in a bad mood, and mention some solutions to keep it from happening
It’s a glitch in communication, that’s all!