- 3 years ago
Hi bees, I want to just write about everything that’s happening around us to see if I get some type of clarity and maybe some of you have good advice. ( Sorry it’s long, and my first language it’s not English)
The first and probably the most important problem I have right now is that my sister doesn’t want to go to my wedding, I know this because my dad told my fiancé, he told me because we share everything and right now he is trying to make my dad talk to me about this. I don’t have a relationship with my mother, she was very manipulative and she almost never gave me a hug or try to comfort me, my parents got divorced when I was almost 19 and I was away in university, my sister was 15, I had always problems with depression I once told her to take me to therapy but didn’t paid attention to me (because to her that was for “crazy people”), I always, since I was little, wrote her letters to tell her how she made me feel and I didn’t get a response ever. When they got divorced I got really depressed and my dad had to go pick me up to the university dorms and get me out of there I was in a very dark place, I moved to my house with my mother and sister and then to my grandparents’s house, I ended up moving with my dad after months of my mother trying to make me better with yelling and guilt, on my birthday my sister even helped me carry my suitcase out of the window because I didn’t want to make a scene. I had been going with a psychoanalyst for 2 months now and he helped me to see a lot of things so I think my mother got worse because she was realizing she was losing her power over me, I got better at my dads house and with lots of therapy I went back to university and I made a great life around good friends my dad and my now fiancé (we’ve been together 4 years I’m 29 years old now)
Now to not make it longer, I tried to make things work between us but she always had to be right and make a scene, she called me crazy, a bad sister, etc. My sister grew up with this mentality (she was her baby and best friend) and sometimes we got along sometimes not but this was normal sister behavior. My mother always treats her like her best friend and manipulates her, there’s been a lot of instances where I think she could have say to her “please don’t talk to me about my sister because this is not my problem, you are my mother and I don’t want to be in the middle of this situation because I love you both” but I think she is not mature enough and now she told my dad she is not going to my wedding if my mother doesn’t go. (This was a complete shock to me)
And my fiancé told me this because I have been complaining about how can I have bridesmaids if my own sister haven’t congratulated us about our engagement? I can’t have her as a bridesmaid of Maid/Matron of Honor if she’s being like this but I can’t have my best friends as bridesmaids because everyone would look at me like why didn’t you choose your sister? So, no bridesmaids for now, but if she doesn’t go maybe I can have just my 2 bffs as bridesmaids.
We were so hurt when we called my dad and told him the news, my little sister (half sister 7 years old) was so happy but my now 25 yo sister didn’t even wrote to me the next day or comment on a photo on fb or Instagram. I was so hurt, I don’t have another word for it. I’ve been texting with her but avoiding the subject altogether, I dread the day I have to visit (we live in another state) my extended family is on board for an engagement party and sometimes they text asking when are we going to celebrate but I’m trying to push it because I don’t want to see her, I’m afraid I’m just going to start crying and asking her why, and she is not the type of person that opens up to you and talks, she laughs and avoids.
I’m crying right now because she is like my only sister because my little sister is very little to help me with all of this and I’m relying only on my bffs but they have their own lives, also the three of us live in different states, and one of them is getting married in August I don’t want to talk a lot about my wedding because her’s is first. She was supposed to be my rock at times like this and I’m so sad I feel so alone.
Im so sorry this is so long, but I had to write it even if no one reads it. Thank you if you took the time.