(Closed) So miserable (Rant.)

posted 7 years ago in Long Distance Relationships
Post # 3
Member
387 posts
Helper bee

Girl I feel your pain.  I got back last night from a week long visit with Mr. LR… We saw each other 8 weeks before that for about 36 hours.  He’s been working crazy hours, and I’ve been so busy with school, so we don’t talk that much.  It sucks balls, to put it nicely.  I’ve been helping myself out by reading romance novels.  Yes, pathetic.  I’ll see him again in 3 weeks for about a week and then IDK.  πŸ™  PM me any time you want to biatch ab this πŸ™‚

 

PS- I totally agree!  3 hours?  Seriously?  Think about the military spouses before you post something like that!  Their SO are gone and in danger for so long that it is unfathomable, but it keeps things in perspective πŸ˜‰

Post # 4
Member
1714 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

I know how you feel. My boyfriend and I will not be seeing each other in person for 8 months and I wish I could have spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with him and his wonderful family. And I do agree, I get so pissed off when girls/women complain about being away from their SO for a few days and whine like it’s the end of the world.

Post # 5
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

It’s totally normal to feel extra lonely and sad around the holidays when your SO is away.  It would be a little abnormal if you weren’t feeling this way!  

But, coming from a military spouse and the sister of a Marine wife, the holidays and when you celebrate it are totally up to you!!  You don’t have to be bound by the ‘traditional’ days you celebrate the holidays.  Why not have your own Christmas, Thanksgiving, and New Years with your man whenever you see him after the holidays?  I know you’re seeing him before, but you can always celebrate twice… why not?!?

My Darling Husband will definitely deploy at some point over the holidays, probably next year.  We’ve already decided that whenever he gets home, we’ll celebrate the holidays then.  I don’t care if it’s July!!  We’ll pull out the tree, decorate, make Christmas cookies, and watch It’s A Wonderful Life while eating Thanksgiving dinner.  It’s still hard for him to be away, but having that to look forward to helps to make the actual holiday easier.  My sister and her Marine do this too and love it.

It’s also very normal to feel awkward around each other after being apart for awhile.  Take your time easing back into your relationship and communicate about everything you’re feeling and thinking.  Depending on how long you’ve been apart, it could take a long time to readjust, but just be patient and don’t despair thinking it’s all over.  You’ve been away from each other for awhile, so give yourself and him time to figure out how you work as a couple again.

Post # 7
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@Mrs. Puffin: Thanks πŸ™‚  We’re going to call it Thanksmas!!  I’m actually really excited about it.  We also will likely celebrate Birthaversary too lol. πŸ˜‰

Post # 8
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Mrs. Puffin: I know EXACTLY what you’re going through. Don’t feel so bad, you can still make the most of the holidays!! I got so desperate on Thanksgiving I ditched my family and I cooked a very elaborate meal just to spend time with Fiance on skype LOL. I haven’t seen my fiance in over 6 months and won’t be seeing him for another 3-5 months!!! I hope you feel better πŸ™‚

Post # 10
Member
35 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2019

This is going on month 6 for me being apart from my Fiance. This has been the longest time apart and its wearing on me. I definitely know how you feel. Its kinda hard planning a wedding and things with your partner that is so far away. I just miss the little things like going to the movies and fixing breakfast for him.

Post # 11
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I am assuming that all of your guys are military?? My Fiance will be leaving for 11 weeks of training sometime in the next few months and that is hard enough for me to think about! He left for 9 weeks 2 years ago and that was hard and we had only been dating for over a year. I could not imagine a year! I give you ladies big koodos. I dont know if I could do it. I live in a military town and have friends that are married to the military. 

So how do you keep youselves busy? Work? Family? How do you prepare for them leaving?

Post # 13
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

@labluver: Yup, my Darling Husband is military and is currently gone for a year for training.  He’s in the states and I can go visit, so it’s not like a deployment, but it’s still hard.  Honestly, the first month is the hardest.  After that, you get into your own routine and it gets easier to cope.

11 weeks is a long time, though.  It’s almost 3 months.  The first 3-4 weeks will be the hardest, and you’ll think it can’t possibly get better.  But, somehow it does, and then before you know it, it’s halfway over and you’re counting down to his return!

Any separation causes a funny phenomenon to happen in relationships, though.  When he first comes home, it may be a little weird at first.  You’ll both be so happy for him to be home, but expect the adjustment time for him to mesh back into your daily routine and you into his to take some time.  For year-long deployments, the general advice is that it takes about a month to readjust, so I would guess for you guys, the first week or two may be a little weird.

Just plan lots of activities to keep you busy (work, exercise classes, hanging out with friends), and enjoy your alone time.  Watch girly movies, stay up late, eat foods he hates, and enjoy being in complete control of the remote and your schedule.  It’s tough, but it will only hurt your relationship if you allow it to.

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