Post # 1
My fiance was just offered a job. I am so proud of him and grateful for the news, but I’m having trouble handling all the change.
We are getting married in exactly 4 weeks. Marriage in and of itself is a big change – an exciting one, but a big one. We are currently living in two states clear across the county from one another. This makes wedding planning a challenge – especially as we come down the final stretch and have so much still to do. The to-do list is long and stressful and try doing it all over the phone….not easy. Then throw in a cross-country move. Moving is a lot of work. Like, a lot. The news of the job means I’ll be leaving my home state – my parents, my friends, my cat, and a job that I really enjoy. I’m sad to be leaving behind my family and friends to move to a place where we’ll know no one. I’m sure we’ll make friends, but I’m sad to leave all the people I’ve been friends with since high school. But here’s something that’s really hard for me: I love where I work and my co-workers. My fiance offered to move where my job is, but the truth is that there really isn’t any opportunity for career growth or advancement where I work (it’s just a really fun place to work with great people). So it really is best that he accepts the new job. It makes a lot more money to support us and has opportunities for growth and is a great job for him that he would really enjoy we think. But you can see why I’m sad leaving a fun job where I’m content.
I’m happy for him and I know this is the right decision….but it feels so weird to give up a perfectly nice job that I like at a place I’m happy at when the economy is crap (especially in the arts) and there’s absolutely no guarentee that I’ll be able to find another job in my field. I’m lucky to have the job I have now and I’m worried I won’t be able to find another one, or that if I do get lucky and can find a new job, that I won’t like it as well. And I’m worried I’ll miss my friends and won’t make new ones. I don’t know….it’s just so much change so quickly and it makes me sad because I don’t know how to handle it all at once. Please help. Any suggestions or advice would really be nice to hear.
Post # 3
I know its really hard to make all those changes. the unknown might just be the worst–will you find a job, amke friends, adjust in a new place)
Don’t give up hope that you can’t find another great job.
When we got married I moved from Chicago to San Diego, started a new job, lived on our own for the first time ever (we both moved back home after college bc it was more convenient before the wedding)
The transition hasn’t always been easy, but I love my life now. It was so nice to spend the first few months doing a lot with my husband–just us (we were long distance for over a year befor ethe wedding). But those were the hardest times for me. I needed to go through the grieving/change process first and it really brought us together.
Then I started to get involved more, made some co=owrker friends, friends from church, and started researching my new area.
I don’t have the greatest job ever, but it couldn’t be more convenient for this stage of life as my husband is in graduate school.
I know it might feel like a lot of sacrifice, but I know it will bring you two more together, and marriage is all about self-sacrifice for the good of both of you. Keep communicating with your fiance about your fears and apprehensions and work through them together!
Post # 4
I’m sorry you’re having to deal with all of this so close to your wedding, it must be very stressful.
I don’t know if this will help but I moved from my home country to Canada to be with my bf when he had to go home. We ended up being there for two years and I had the most incredible experience. The friends I made will be friends for life, and I ended up finding a job that has since shaped my career.
It can be a little daunting to be faced with change but I think it’s better to experience challenges and grow from them than be scared of what may (or may not) happen. It will also probably result in you becoming far more close to your fi, as you will be facing this together.
Best of luck and congratulations on your wedding!
Post # 5
Thanks for the kind words. It just seems to backwards to leave a fun, happy job when so many people are struggling to find employment in this economy and there is no guarentee that I will be able to find a new job. Sigh. The unknown is just so daunting. I hope it all turns out okay.
Post # 6
I moved to be with my SO and I’m not going to lie it has been a tough road. My advice for you on the job front is to be picky. I took a job at a place I wasn’t sure of and it turned out horribly. I had a bad feeling about it, but I did it anyway because I wanted a job in my exact field. Be brave and look at the move as a chance to expand your skills/area of expertise; and don’t take one just because you are worried about the economy and feel the need to stay in your exact field.
I have found more joy and fun in my life now that I am on an alternative path to my original path. Don’t be afraid, only commit to what you love and stay open to the possibility of a new path.