- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
I’m 37. I have never wanted kids or had any urge to have kids/be a parent. I think kids should only be brought into this world when they are really really wanted.
Most people in this situation just own it and they feel great about it. Me? I feel like something is terribly wrong with me. My friends and family around me are doing a really good job and making me feel there is something wrong with me too.
All my life and even more so recent (after seeing sister, her kids, and my BFF):
Mother – Did I do something to you as a child? Did you have a bad childhood? You are going to regret it for the rest of your life, I know you will. Then proceeds to weep silently for me.
Sister – You just don’t like kids, they bug you, right? She tried to scare the bejeesus out of my nieces and nephews who came to visit us by telling them all she doesn’t like kids so pick up your messes!
Other Sister – you’re just cold hearted and a baby hater.
Best Friend – I wish you could just experience all the love I feel being a mother to my 3 year old daughter. I know you had a tense relationship with your mother, and I’m so sad that you will never get to realize a great mother/daughter relationship. I wish you’d have kids.
Nieces – I cannot believe you don’t want kids? They’d be so healthy and eat good food and you do so many fun things!
Mother-in-Law – You’re not getting any younger you know! I wouldn’t wait too long. (bless her – she doesn’t know our kids status)
Other nosy people who ask “Are you guys having kids?” – “No we’re not.” Really??? With that scrunched up baffled look on their face. And then they just don’t know where to go from there.
I used to get on my soap box about it (overpopulation, so many kids to adopt, don’t want to change life), but that was me more 10-15 years ago. Now I just go the, “Well I was born without the motherhood gene – you can’t do much about that.” I feel this response has no open end for arguing or defending. But man, I cannot help but feeling like such an odd ball. And to try to defelct this “baby hater” image that may come with being childless, I feel like I need to be super nice and interactive with all my friends’ kids just to show I don’t hate kids.
Can anyone relate out there?