(Closed) So much for a Christmas proposal…

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
11482 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@Sugaree: As an older bride who has been married for two-and-a-half years and is just beginning to understand how some men think, I would strongly urge you to NOT allow yourself to over think this and to NOT allow  what you’ve been thinking to affect your mood for the holidays or this, perhaps, once-in-a-lifetime  vacation in Paris.

First of all, if he is NOT planning to propose to you on this trip, you certainly do not want to be miserable the entire time.  Enjoy all of the planning, and enjoy the trip!!

Second, if he IS truly trying to throw you off and really is secretly planning to propose to you while you’re there, if you seem too upset or angry or frustrated about what he has told you, you may just end up taking a lot of the joy out of the proposal for not only him but also for yourself.

I would say to ANY woman who even THINKS that there is a chance that her SO is considering proposing at some point — please do NOT get upset about what may or may not happen BEFORE a major event, such as a vacation, birthday, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, etc.  At the very least, try to really enjoy these wonderful milestones and then, if the holiday or event itself (and maybe a week or so after!) passes and nothing has happened regarding a proposal, that would be the time to try to come to terms with the fact that what you’re hoping for may not happen when you were expecting it to happen.  

Many of us are often so analytical — and we always want to KNOW everything and to figure out what’s happening —  that we often end up nearly sabotaging our own surprises!  Even though I do not know you, or him, or anything about your relationship, If I were a betting person, I would bet he proposes while you’re there! Keep us posted!

Post # 19
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Sugaree:  Aw, I feel for you! I could have written this exact same post a couple months ago when we were going to Paris. I am 31 right now and also waiting for a proposal.  Sometimes I let myself get so freaked out by my age and my desire to have children that I can’t think logically. We have time-that is my new mantra. I am reminded of this by all my friends who’ve had no problems having children in their thirties.

Also it’s something I can’t control. I didn’t find my SO until later in life. I went through a long relationship with someone who at the end of the day decided they didn’t want children. That was tough. I picked myself up and started over. There are a lot of things we can’t control in life, Babies, proposals...Lol.  I have to remind myself some days to have faith.

I hope very much that you enjoy your trip. Take it all in! Paris is wonderful. Don’t do what I did and hope that around every corner there might be a proposal, I think without realizing it all my hopes for the future, clouded the beautiful place I was visiting in the present!

Feel free to PM me if you want any ideas about Paris or even just to chat.

Have a wonderful vacation!

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