(Closed) So much for our "small" guestlist

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 4
7693 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

@HonoraryNerd:  Oh, that’s a tough one.  Is this a person that would really come through with the $$$?  I see here many times when one is promised $$$ for the wedding, and then brides getting notified close to the wedding that so-and-so now can’t come up with the $$$ and now what can I cut?  Also, will they want a say in what you plan? Are there any strings attached?

Post # 5
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

I don’t think I could accept an offer like that from a distant relative. Do you feel confident that he would come through on it? 

Post # 8
1638 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@HonoraryNerd:  It’s a generous offer but how soon will he give you the money? I would talk to him in a frank manner and say, “Uncle, we were going a small wedding for budget reasons. Unfortunately, only immediate family was invited. A lot of extended famil, you included we could not invited. If you do accept yoour money of your you are welcome to come, but this will open the flood gates and we would have to invite around 50 more people. We can’t afford that and we don’t want to put you in a financial bind.”

Post # 9
496 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

@LuvMySailor:  +1, good idea. Nicely worded too.

Post # 10
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Adding 5 extra people is no big deal as in sure some of your original 150 will RSVP no. I know that you said you are closer to your family, but you have to think about your FI’s feelings and these cousins are Being VERY generous and they helped out your Fiance in a time of need (job) and invited you to their beautiful wedding should be able to go to your wedding. And 150 is not “small” by any means. 

Post # 12
981 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@HonoraryNerd:  My FI’s family is huge and close there is some of his family that although he speaks to them on the phone he hasn’t seen in a while so i just cut everyone who we haven’t seen in over a year including family, seems harsh but its the only way i was able to get my list from 250 back to 200 and we were only supposed to be having 150 tops.


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