(Closed) So my bridesmaid quit

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I don’t think that filing your wedding party with friends that you aren’t close to is the answer.  I’ve seen many weddings where there has been an unequal number of BMs and Groomsmen.  Another option would be to offer to cover some the costs associated with being in your wedding.  I know budgets are usually tight but if your friend is that special you can try meeting her in the middle. 

Post # 4
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I was going to say exactly the same thing as the PP.  I wouldn’t go trying to fill the slot with someone you’re not sure enough just to have even numbers.  It’s not worth the potential headaches. 

Is there any way you can help with the costs?

Post # 5
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

I agree with the others, either leave it uneven or offer to help with costs for your bridesmaid. I was recently in a wedding that I couldn’t afford and she offered to buy my dress, which was a huge help. And an honor that she wanted me there that much!

Post # 7
Member
9056 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

Your wedding is quite a while away, so it seems odd to be pulling out by now when much could change in the next nine months.  Is there something else going on besides the money?

Post # 8
Member
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

Ditto what the previous posters said.  I wouldn’t select someone that isn’t important to you, especially if you really have to think hard about the decision.  It isn’t out of the ordinary to have uneven bridal parties.  Also, wondering if maybe someone could help her with the bill.  Could she make installments to you?  (Not sure how ellaborate your wedding celebration is, but when you think about the cost of a bm gown/shoes/etc. it isn’t a huge amount in comparison to the whole event).  Good Luck! 

Post # 9
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

@excited8164:  Sorry to hear that there’s so much going on with her life that she’s unable to commit.  I would maybe leave the option open for her to change her mind.  A lot can change between now and September, new jobs, new vehicles, etc.  It might be hard but stay positive and enjoy the experience with your other BMs.

Post # 11
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Who is dictating to you how many bridesmaids to have? You don’t  have to have a set amount and you do not have to have the same # of maids as groomsmen.

Post # 12
Member
5 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: April 2012

We’re having an uneven number in our wedding party. The Mr. has more friends than me so he has more guys than I do ladies. At first I let it bother me, but now I don’t care because we have exactly who we want in the wedding instead of someone I didn’t really want just because I was trying to “flll a spot.” It’s YOUR wedding, there are no rules that says you have to have an even number…do what makes you feel most comfortable. But I am very sorry to hear about the situation! It will all be fine if it’s uneven, I promise! Smile

Post # 13
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

@excited8164: She is doing you a favor telling you now. If she waited to tell you you would be more annoyed. Even if its not a ton of money, to some it is and to some the stress of spending it is not worth it.

We are having uneven parties.

Post # 14
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’d say pick the Future Sister-In-Law … it could mend the fence and she’s gonna be there anyway.  If no then i’d go with uneven. 

Post # 15
Member
256 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I am having an uneven bridal party, I had one bridesmaid drop the wedding. Although not for the same reason I went through the same thing you are now. Deciding to replace her or just keep it uneven. We looked through our options: a few friends I wasn’t all that close to, my sister who I don’t get along with, or keep it uneven.

Keeping it uneven was the best decision we made. 

I would have stressed trying to figure out what friend to choose out of the ones I don’t really talk to (plus I have two bridesmaids as it is that I rarely see because of busy schedules and whatnot. I didn’t want to add a third)

My sister told me she wasn’t coming to the wedding, but that is her decision.

My advice? Stick to your gut. For me it was easier to get over the fact that our wedding party was going to be uneven.

It sounds like that may be your best option 🙂

Good luck!!

Post # 16
Member
38 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I am down a bridesmaid because I “fired her”, I paid for her dress which means that I am stuck with a size 12 canary yellow Bridesmaid or Best Man dress from David’s but I was happy to sacrifice the money rather than deal with the headaches. Trust me – you are way better off sticking to those who love you and winding up with uneven numbers instead of asking someone not as close (as I did) and having them bail or cause so many problems you have to ask them to step aside. It’s your day. Be happy with those closest to you and don’t worry about the numbers.

The topic ‘So my bridesmaid quit’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors