- 4 years ago
- Wedding: November 2014
And quite honestly, it was because, his wife (I guess?) tagged him in their relationship status update on facebook as saying they got married on July 29, ironically…my fiance’s birthday. I’m hurt by it because I figure that I deserved at least a phone call…I thought we had a good relationship, but obviously, I’m mistaken.
He has always been really secretive and bad about communicating to anyone who is related to him, but it’s like…most of our family (85% of my mom’s side sucks) is not the greatest, but at least treat the ones you supposedly like with some decency.
My brother and I bought a house together in 2010 because he was being deployed overseas, my abusive alcholic mom (that I’ve been out of contact with since feb of that year) was being foreclosed on because she didn’t think mortgages were as important as box wine and cigarettes, and so he decided he wanted a safe space to stash his stuff. So, he went to training camp that year and in early 2011, overseas (With a different girlfriend who he broke up with over email after apparently secretly proposing to…I had to clean up the pieces to that one.). Meanwhile, I met my fiancé December of 2010 and tb may of 2011, he had moved back yo Texas and started living with us (my brother had met him prior to deployment and was okay with him moving in).
In 2013, my fiancé and I decided that with the pets, crazy HOA, and all our vehicles, it was time for an upgrade on the house. My brother was okay with it, and we quickly sold it. It took longer to build (we wanted a three car garage on a lake/pond or green space, so hard to find), so we lived with my fiancé’s parents and he stayed at a friends. I kept him in the loop as much as possible and invited him to check in the house whenever he wanted. We moved in at the end of january 2014. My brother came to live with us and continue to go to nursing school, though he was mad we chose something that was kinda far out from the city…but it’s our choice. At this time, a new girlfriend popped up but he generally goes through tons and they never speak to us, so I never knew her name until facebook. Supposedly they’re shy. All of them.
in July, he decided to move out and live in an apartment close to his school, which we were fine with. The extra money was nice, but not necessary for our survival. We figured he must be living with her. And last weekend when I was at work, I happened to look on facebook and saw that she tagged him as they had gotten married. There were likes and congratulations, so I figured it was likely true…who lies about that??? I texted him. No response. I texted my dad. No response.
Tuesday, I spoke to my grandmother on my dad’s side and she told me that my dad had heard rumors about my brother bring married (aka I told him) but he thought it was untrue. So I told her what I knew and she was upset that he couldn’t even be bothered to let them know with a call, especially as it’s now September. I just told her that he doesn’t care about his family and to leave it at that. My dad called me that night finally and I told him how I knew what little I did. Later, my brother finally called him and told him they got married, but that she wasn’t pregnant (my running theory). Isent my brother another text (he never picks up his calls) and congratulated him, but said that I would have liked to have been there or at least known about it, that I hoped he would come to my wedding, and asked him what they wanted as a wedding gift. No response. Again.
It makes me sad to have learned about it through facebook. A secret wedding is just silly…and when you don’t have a lot of family, you should at least do your best to preserve those relationships. I thought I’ve been a good to him, that my dad’s side has been good to him, but this feels like a slap in the face. The only reason, I think, he told my dad was that he knew I had told him. And if you’re an adult, something big like this shouldn’t come out like that.