(Closed) So my crazy parents just made me cancel my first vacation with my bf

posted 4 years ago in Family
Post # 2
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee

No. NO. NOOOOO. 

Go on vacation with your boyfriend. Your parents are nuts. Stop telling them things. live your life.

Post # 3
Member
4160 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

If you live in a different city, how would they even know that you were on vacation?  Do you speak daily?  This could have easily been avoided…however I’ve never been under this sort of “rule” by parents so I don’t really see how you couldn’t just go ahead and do what you want, permission or not.

Post # 4
Member
9976 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

Yikes.  Hopefully this will be a lesson learned to not share things about your personal life with your parents anymore.  It doesn’t sound like they’re going to ever listen to reason.  You are an adult and don’t need their permission to live your life the way you choose to.  Keep some things to yourself from now on.  Share information with them strictly on a need-to-know basis.  They are being true to their own culture, which is fine for them.  But it’s not ok for them to force their beliefs on you if you don’t agree with those beliefs.

Post # 5
Member
9397 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

They’re controlling because you’re letting them control you. You’re 26. You said it yourself, you’re an adult. You have to start making your own life choices and standing behind them. Live your own life. If they love you for all that you are (and all that you aren’t), they will come to accept that. 

Post # 6
Member
893 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

An actual grown-up doesn’t let her parents dictate her actions.  You’re really lucky your boyfriend sticks around with someone with no backbone – I wouldn’t if I were in his shoes.

Why don’t you just stand up for yourself?  And stop telling your parents shit?  They’re just manipulating you and you are letting yourself be manipulated.  Just do what you want.  They’re not actually going to disown you or anything.  And if they did?  Sounds like it would be good riddance.

Bottom line?  You’re bringing ALL of this on yourself.  Grow up.

Post # 7
Member
465 posts
Helper bee

Your poor boyfriend. Go on vacation with him. 

Post # 8
Member
10219 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

You need to go on this vacation. You NEED to. If you let your parents force you to cancel your vacation now I guarentee you that it will snowball out of control from here on out and set the tone that you will allow them to control you. Do NOT cave in on this.

Also, stop telling them things you know they disapprove of. None of their business. 

Post # 9
Member
4160 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

View original reply
Kikibear:  I think that last sentance was a little harsh.

Post # 10
Member
4243 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

You let them win.  Honestly you shouldn’t have given them any details about your vacation after they freaked out on you the first time.  I would plan another vacation that same week (if you can), or maybe a staycation.  Don’t let them control your life.

Post # 11
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Please pay close attention to what I’m about to say:

 

You absolutely MUST go on that vacation. Even if the whole thing can’t be rebooked you HAVE to make them think you did go at all costs because if they think you canceled on their behalf this is only going to get worse and they will get more controlling over everything you do. Please nip this in the bud now and just go or this controlling behavior will get worse not better.

Post # 12
Member
1078 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

View original reply
slomotion:  Exactly. Could not agree more.

Post # 13
Member
7171 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
hermionegranger:  You’re 26 years old living on your own. Why are you consulting your parents on your decisions? Go on vacation and quit telling your parents of your plans. If you want to be an adult you have to act like it. Adults don’t let their parents dictate their life.

Post # 14
Member
3064 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

View original reply
hermionegranger:  YOU cancelled your own trip, bee. Short of holding a gun to your head, your parents cannot *force* you to do anything. 

Go on your trip, and don’t tell them about it until you get back.

 

Post # 15
Member
840 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Why do you tell them stuff? Just go and stop letting them control you…

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