- 8 years ago
- Wedding: September 2010
A while back I wrote this post:
It was written just after Fiance and I got engaged. I was really torn. Over the last several months I’ve thought and thought about it. I’ve see-sawed on my decision, I ignored the situation … I tried to have others make the decision for me. And it always came back to my major fear that she would let me down.
My aunt, her sister, and the person I consider to be my mother, is throwing a shower this weekend. Last weekend I let my aunt know that she could invite my mother. I’d use it as a “trial run” and help make my decision about what to do for the ceremony.
I figure I’d let her come, see how she is and how she acts and then make my final decision. I’d been leaning towards extending an invite. I was planning on being frank with her and let her know what I expect of her at the ceremony and let her make the decision on if she wanted to attend. Knowing what the reprecussions would be if she let me down.
I called her to let her know directions for tomorrow and she let me know she isn’t going to come because she isn’t feeling great. *cue let down music*. Sigh, how did I not see this one coming?
Now, I know that this must be incredibly hard for her. To know that her daughter, who she doesn’t know, is getting married and she isn’t involved. I think she accepts that it is 100% her fault that I react the way I do. I guess I was hoping she’d put some effort in.
I don’t want to set my mom up to fail, because believe me if she lets me down on my wedding day … that will be it, I’m done. I know this is hard for her, and I would hope that if she doesn’t think she can handle it that she’d politely decline. But now I don’t know … she told my aunt she would definitely come and now she isn’t. If I invite her to the ceremony and she accepts and doesn’t show, I’ll be heart broken.
I just wish this wasn’t so damn hard 🙁 🙁