- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2015
I love my mum, don’t get me wrong but she drives me up the wall. I never thought she’d be one of those mums that I’d be getting cranky with but I’m already frustrated and we’re only three months into planning.
We had wanted to get married in another state for a few reasons (weather, better selections of everything, money, etc) however when we told her this, she managed to convince me to get married where we live since “all of us will have to travel”. And yes, in all honesty, a lot of people would have had to travel but isn’t it our decision where we get married? (We are paying for everything ourselves).
Anyway, we found a venue here we like and have been tossing around a couple of dates. Since we essentially only have three nice months of the year where we live (and one of the reasons we wanted to get married elsewhere – nicer weather and it would have been on the date we wanted) so EVERYTHING is on during that time.
And I mean everything; the races, all the weddings, all the galas and balls, all big sporting events, all big music events, etc. So the weekend we had decided on, we thought there might be a chance there would be a big car racing event – so we moved it to the week after. And it was decided; we had told our photographer, the venue and our celebrant that it was going to be Friday 3 July 2015.
HOWEVER last night we go out to dinner with my mum and her boyfriend. They’re asking questions about the wedding and we happy volunteer most information. Through past conversations I’ve felt a little uncomfortable talking about the money we are spending. We are in a considerably better financial situation then my mum and her partner so when we mentioned how much our venue was, it was raised eyebrows, etc.
When we mention the wedding date my mum goes “Ah…” and stops saying what she was going to say. Her partner asks her what and she says she doesn’t want to say – but when you do that, I couldn’t pretend it didn’t happen. So I asked; “No, mum, what is it?”
And her response is: “Well, that’s just the day your father walked out on me.”
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!
I know I asked, yes, but if that’s what it is DON’T TELL ME!
A quick background: my mum and step-dad (who is my dad for all intents and purposes) broke up, well, 3 July 2011. She has a new partner, he has a new fiancee, they share three kids (me, and my two half-brothers) and aren’t technically divorced. My mum tells me all about the terrible things he does; he doesn’t mention it and doesn’t put me in the middle at all.
My mum said to me last night when we left dinner “I’m sorry you were upset”.
Not “I’m sorry I made you upset” or “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that” just “I’m sorry you were upset”.
AND while I’ve been typing this out, a friend of mine told me congratulations on facebook and sorry that she hadn’t seen the announcement. My mum texted me and asked me what annoucement? I replied that she just meant on facebook (she would have been on her honeymoon when I got engaged). My mum then proceeds to say “Well, who honestly reads the paper these days! FB does the job. Spend all the money, put it in the paper and no one would see it.”
It doesn’t occur to her that I would have really liked for an “official” announcement to be made but it’s a little tacky actually coming from the bride and groom and perhaps one of the sets of parents should have done it?