(Closed) So nervous about meeting with the deacon/Pre Cana

posted 7 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
284 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I think it depends entirely on your priest/deacon. As someone who has been through Pre-Cana with the Catholic Church twice now, the first priest was die hard, tried to convert my Fiance (at the time) to Catholicism, wanted us to discontinue living together until after the wedding, etc. Fast forward to the present, current priest with current fiance, he is much more laid back. We are both Catholic, and currently live together. He doesn’t recommend living together before marriage, but has never told us that we can’t get married if we are, etc. We did Pre-Cana as a weekend retreat, and our meetings with the priest have been very casual, more of a show and tell time, so that he can get to know us as a couple better in order to incorporate “us” into the ceremony.

Post # 5
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

Catholic deacons can definitely perform Catholic marriages. That’s one of their main roles actually!

Did your Fiance get a dispensation to be married by a non-Catholic officiant (your uncle)? If so then the deacon is required to be cool with it. It’s not his call.

However usually if the ceremony is held at a Catholic location, they want the Catholic clergyman to do most of it. So if you want your uncle to be the main officiant perhaps it’s best to have it at your church instead of FI’s.

I would NOT expect him to try to convert you, usually they make sure you know you are welcome in the Church but they are not going to do a hard sell.


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