Post # 1
Here’s the deal- I’m recently engaged and THRILLED to be marrying my fiance. I have no doubt that I want to be married to him. What I am terrified of; however, is the actual wedding. I hate being the center of attention- it makes me so uncomfortable, nervous and gives me a great deal of anxiety. I feel guilty because I want to be more enthusiastic about the wedding planning but I can’t get over the idea that this means I will be the center of attention. If it were up to me we would elope and have something really simple and lovely. I know that this would cause disappointment within my family and within his family which I also don’t want to do. Right now we are looking into a small destination wedding with a handful of close friends and family. I think this will be the best option. I know I’m rambling but guess I’m just wondering if anyone out there feels similar.
Post # 2
Awe bless your heart….. look at it like this, it’s not about you being the center of attention, but rather celebrating the union and committment of love that you and your fiance will be making. I think if you feel self conscious you are right, you shoudl keep it small with only those people that you love and trust.
If you don’t like being the center of attention, then perhaps you can cut out things like the father daugther dance and the first dance. Also I definitely wouldnt recomned a sweetheart table.
You will be fine, just learn to live in the moment and celebrate your blessing.
Post # 3
I’m so nervous about the ceremony!! I’m an extrovert who’s an introvert in front of a large crowd and my fiance is the opposite. He’s super nervous about the first dance because he doesn’t dance. So we’ll both be having liquid courage to get through the day. You’ll be great! You get to marry you BFF!
Post # 4
My Fiance is very introverted and nervous about being the center of attention as well (I’m not too keen on it either actually – I would have loved to have a tiny ceremony with our 3 best friends and no one else). We are keeping the ceremony short (15 minutes hopefully!) and I’m hoping that the fact that our backs will be turned to everyone there will be helpful and in the moment I’ll really be able to focus on just my Fiance and getting married!
The reception we are doing cocktail style with no head table to take a lot of the focus off of us. People will be mingling and having a good time so besides the first dance and the cake cutting there’s no need for all eyes to be on us for very much of the night.
Post # 5
- Wedding: Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception/The Gallery
Girl, I could have written this word for word. Except I couldn’t even get Fiance and family on board with a small destination wedding, so 175 person hometown wedding it is.
I can’t say I have great advice for you on this, but know you’re not alone. What’s keeping me going is my pure excitement to get to marry my Fiance and my awesome friends who are really helping me focus–and talk–when all the planning and stress gets overwhelming for me. And wine. Wine helps.
Post # 6
Same! It’s less that I would be anxious being the center of attention, but more that it just stresses me out having to plan it,and spend all this money on a stupid party. I hate parties, so of course I’m not going to waste money on one! And an entire day being all about me is like my worst nightmare lol.
We are doing a small beach wedding. Immediate family and one friend each. The beach is about 4 hours away. There’s no aisle to walk down and I’m not even going to bother getting a permit for chairs. My mom took an online thing so she’s allowed to officiate for us. And I’m telling his family, who is full of traditional party loving extroverts, that our wedding will is essentially an elopement that they’re invited to. We will drive down on Saturday, and then get married on Sunday morning somewhere on the beach, followed by lunch somewhere casual.
No aisle to walk down, no dancing, no cutting the cake or throwing the bouquet or any of those other things that make me upset to think about. Just closest family and friends, and a pretty beach. 🙂
Post # 7
I feel the same I say that I just want to BE married! My Fiance tells me that except for when I’m walking down the aisle he will be with me very step of the way Lean on him for support! That is what I am planning on doing even though the idea of so much attention is scary.
Post # 8
Wow- thanks for the comments. It definitely makes me feel better to know that I’m not alone in feeling this way! It’s definitely a struggle. I think that wine will be needed- lots and lots of wine
Post # 9
I know! My Fiance says the same thing about being there with me. He even said that if I freak out he would create a distraction to get the attention off me. It’s really sweet but I’m still so nervous!
Post # 10
DH and I are both introverts, and I was terrified of the wedding day. To be honest with you, I was WAY more nervous at the rehearsal than actually walking down the aisle. On the wedding day, I was so happy walking down the aisle, that all the people being there didn’t bother me. We also had a sweetheart table just for the two of us at the reception which helped massively. People kept coming up to us and saying how lonely we looked, but we loved it! It turned out much better than I expected. Good luck!
Post # 11
I’m an introvert also and absolutely was terrified of everyone staring at me. Let me tell you – the day of – I did not feel one ounce of anxiety from the time I started walking down that aisle. There’s something about everyone there being someone that you know and love.. it’s a different feeling than public speaking, etc.
In fact, I ended up enjoying it because it was really the one day where it was about ME. I am so not that type of person, but it was really fun to enjoy for the day. You’ll also be feeling and looking your best – it will be so fun! 🙂
Post # 12
Just so you know…I couldn’t even keep food in me the night before the wedding I was so nervous, and I consider myself an extrovert (I worked in HR for heavens sake!). For some reason it was the combination of all the different kinds of emotions. I suggest just focusing on you and your hubby to be. That makes it so much easier. When I walked down the aisle I only focused on him and the preacher 100% of the time lol I didn’t even look at people in the audience! I think everyone is different. It is hard to say how you will feel on the day of. 🙂
Post # 13
DH and I are both the same! We loved our 30-guest wedding… It wasn’t a Destination Wedding, but we purposely made it on a Friday night at a nearby island that required a ferry ride to reach, so we could dissuade people who didn’t really want to be there from attending. We spent quality time with each of our guests and carefully set up the seating chart by each guest’s interests so conversation could flow well at each table. Less guests also means more $/head that you can spend to spoil your guests, so we could afford the open top-shelf bar and gourmet meal (our guests dined on lamb chops, filet mignon, and halibut – no wedding chicken here!) People still talk about how much fun they had. So if it’s possible for you, I’d stick to the plan of a small wedding.
Post # 14
- Wedding: November 2016 - Garden
I’m an introvert too! And I dislike all the attention on me too. Like I’ll freeze up a and stutter and shake like i have the holy ghost or something! Haha but you know what? Don’t think of it too much. Yeah they’ll look at you but they’ll look at you because youll be the most gorgeous gal on that dance floor and you’re the one who’s getting married!!! Everyone went though it in your family they will tell you they were very nervous and that’s expected! And also Your man will have the exact same attention on him as well. So you won’t be alone. Talk about it with each other. Find ways that can calm your guy’s nerves down 😀 the best part will be dress shopping oh my!!! I haven’t done It yet but man it’ll be a blast!
It’ll only be your friends and family coming anyway, people you hold dear to. That’s the way I look at it. Trust me I’m in the same boat as you, but I’ll just focus on my man and not what other people think of me. It’ll be your day and everyone will cheer you on for your special day!! Congrats bee!! It’s going to be one of the best days of your life!
Post # 15
thanks for the comment. Your wedding sounds like it was perfect and would be exactly what I would more comfortable with. 30 sounds like a perfect number- I just hope that we can keep it at that. I don’t want to offend anyone and I’m running into the issue of “if you invite so-and-so you will need to invite so-in-so.” I’m banking on the fact that since it’s destination several people will not be able to make it! Sounds awful, I know