(Closed) SO not invited to destination wedding

posted 6 years ago in Destination Weddings
Post # 3
Hostess
3368 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

This is your BEST friend? How long have you been with SO? If you guys have been together for a few years, then I would maybe bring up the issue that you won’t be able to go alone financially. She’ll get the hint. If she’s your best friend, that is.

If she’s just a friend, then I would politely decline. 

 

Post # 4
Member
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I wouldn’t go.  If you really like them, send a nice gift and and let them know you’re looking forward to taking them out for dinner to celebrate when they return.  They had to know that some people would decline for that reason, you don’t have to make a big deal out of it.

Post # 5
Member
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

@casmas:  Not go….who wants to take a vacation without the person you love?  Which is pretty much what a destination wedding is, only you’re letting someone else pick where you go, you might as well be able to pick who you go there with.

Post # 6
Member
8041 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

@casmas:  I would not go. We likely would not do a Destination Wedding as a couple unless it was close family/friends since we plan our own vacations well in advance and have specific places we go, so wouldn’t want a wedding to take away from our trips. With that said, I definitely wouldn’t go alone. I don’t travel by myself. I don’t fly well… etc. No no no.

Post # 7
Member
3176 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

If they were that important to me I would go but I would also ask my husband to go for the vacation part of it. I’d do the wedding by myself but we’d enjoy the rest of the time together. Otherwise I’d skip it if I really didn’t care overly much.

Post # 8
Member
2375 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Hmm.  Maybe I’m going about this wrong, but here’s what I’d do – from the $ amount you gave, I’m guessing you’re already paying for your airfare and hotel room, the only thing that would be covered would be perhaps the rehearsal dinner and reception itself.  If you’re already going for a week, I’d bring my fiance, and just have him fend for himself on the hosted dinner nights.  He’s a big boy, I’m sure he could scrounge up dinner a couple of times.  Obviously, if he’s not invited to the ceremony, I wouldn’t bring him to that part.  But no one ever said anything about the rest of the week.

Post # 9
Member
4311 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Hmmmm.  This is a toughy.  I know someone else who did this, and had 4 of her friends there & that was it.

Is it possible for him to come with, but only you attend the wedding?

Post # 10
Member
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I agree with @mrsPinkpeony . 

Post # 11
Member
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@casmas:  I wouldn’t go.  If the destination is more important to the couple than who can attend, then I wouldn’t feel bad about not going.  I think it takes rather a lot of nerve/entitlement to expect your friends and relatives to use their vacation time and budget on YOUR wedding at the destination THEY choose. 

If the couple has essentially said, “hey, we’re having our wedding here, would love for you to be ther but understand if you can’t” then all’s good.  They just don’t have any business being put out if you choose not to use your time/money that way. 

Post # 12
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My “best friend” would know I’m not going with out my fi. I probably wouldn’t go.

Post # 14
Hostess
3368 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@casmas:  So then talk to her! She should definitely invite your SO of multiple years. Otherwise, go for just the vacation part (both of you) then you go to the wedding yourself. But if she’s been your best friend for 10 years, I think you’re entitled to talk to her about an otherwise sensitive subject. 

Post # 15
Member
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@casmas:  If you’re living together then your friend was out of line not inviting your SO that you live with.  Its rude.  You are well within your rights to take a pass. 

Post # 16
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If it were my best friend and I could afford it, I would go with or without SO.  $1500 is a lot of money and the BFF should understand if you can’t swing it.  I know it is a bummer to go without SO but sometimes you do what you gotta do when it comes to BFFs.  But, again, if you can’t afford it, there’s no shame in declining.

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