(Closed) So now my DW has been scrapped. I am pissed/hurt/disappointed. Am I wrong?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

well, would you and fi be comfortable going forward with the dw, knowing fbil won’t be there?

Post # 4
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

How can he not plan to take that time off over a year in advance? This is you and Fiance wedding, do what makes you happy. I would have never planned my wedding around anyone else, that’s crap if you ask me..

Post # 5
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Is your Future Brother-In-Law not being able to attend at deal breaker?  Honestly, unless it is your FI who can’t make it, I would think that the show could go on regardless of who is there.  Also, your Future Brother-In-Law has PLENTY of time to try to rearrange his schedule.  Has he really looked into all of his options?

I’m sorry this is so stressful for you! 🙁

Post # 8
Member
923 posts
Busy bee

You’re not being unreasonable for being disapointed. I would feel the same way. I have a suggestion. What about doing a weddingmoon with just you and your FI? Then when you come home you can have the wedding with all the family there. I’m not sure what’s going on with bduget and if that is possible, but that’s actually what my husband and I are doing. We’re having a vow renewal and treating it just like a wedding. It’s been really great to have exactly what we want and be able to have family invovled too.

If that doesn’t work out, I think that if you have to scrap your wedding plans because of one guest (albeit a close family member) that the wedding will go on without them and everyone will miss that person….but honestly it’s not about Future Brother-In-Law….. it’s about you and your Fiance. Everyone will get over it. Depending on how your Fiance feels about cont. the original plans I think you two should get what you want and let the family now your wishes and that yo uunderstand and will not be upset if some people can’t make it. Don’t let your inlaws plan your wedding. Take back the control and it will all work out.

Post # 9
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I agree with the other girls, there’s no reason to cancel everything you’ve been planning. First, this is a discussion you and Fiance need to have. Is his brother not being there the end of the world and worth changing the entire wedding over? Second, your wedding is a year and a half away. Is he a doctor or member of the hospital that is so indispensible that the whole place will shut down without him for a few days? Doesn’t the man ever take personal vacations or is he that married to his job?! It’s not like the wedding is spur of the moment, he has plenty of time to plan his schedule accordingly.

Post # 10
Member
10851 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@NYshoppingirl: Agreed. Planning your wedding according to your Future Brother-In-Law is silly to me. I mean, if your Future Brother-In-Law was the President of the United States I’d be willing to accomodate, but it’s a bit of a stretch that everyone has to do what he wants because he works at a famous hospital….

Post # 12
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

what about doing your Destination Wedding and then having a party upon returning? Fiance needs to compromise with you on this, after all it’s not his brother getting married..

Post # 14
Member
5095 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Ok, I’d like to hear from doctors on the board, because that sounds fishy to me. I get not being able to go all the way to Hawaii, but not to be able to take TWO DAYS off work to fly to Florida, North Carolina, Cape Cod, or California (depending on what’s closest to where he lives) that would let you have a beach wedding – that seems crazy to me. 

I think there should be room for compromise here. Not Hawaii, but I think you should still be able to have a beach wedding.  It’s completely unreasonable for Future Brother-In-Law to say that you can only have your wedding in the city HE picks!

Post # 15
Member
362 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@artichokesalad: I know Lake Michigan isn’t Hawaii but there are a ton of beautiful settings in the summer on the water. 🙂 See what you can find outside of the city at parks, etc..

Post # 16
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

This situation at your FBIL’s hospital sounds like crap to me. I cannot believe they would not allow him to take 2 days off. Unless your job is something along the lines of Supreme Ruler of the Universe, then I think they can handle not having you there for 2 days, planned over a year in advance.

I also agree that no one but you or your Fiance should be “in charge” of where you have the wedding. So Future Brother-In-Law can’t make it/doesn’t want to travel that far – he’d have to just suck it up if he were my Future Brother-In-Law.

The topic ‘So now my DW has been scrapped. I am pissed/hurt/disappointed. Am I wrong?’ is closed to new replies.

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