Post # 1
If some remember (probably not) I had some drama with my family over the wedding (who hasn’t?) so, my fiance and I decided to have a courthouse wedding, only our parents showing up and then the next year having the bigger wedding. We can afford it and are looking forward to the 2nd one as well as the courthouse. I still have some qualms about it and I would like some advice. We are having the first one because of insurance reasons among some other things.
Is it possible to still have a normal wedding ceremony?
What if people won’t come because of the courthouse wedding?
Will people think that we think that we are entitled to the grand wedding? We are paying for it ourselves.
Post # 3
I guess it really depends on how you do it and who you tell. If everyone knows you could have a renew your vows and have the invites say that. Or have a BIG 1 year an. party.
Or only tell parents that you are married and pretend to have a wedding a year later.
Post # 4
I guess it just really depends on who you ask. My cousin did that (her fiance was military, and they wanted to get married before he got deployed, but she still wanted her fairy princess wedding the following year) and everyone in the family was fine with it. However, I know Miss Manners and a few other etiquette experts really frown on having a ceremony after you are already married (to have a reception a year later while wearing a white dress is considered perfectly acceptable, provided you don’t ask for gifts). I know she DEFINITELY disapproves of pretending you are not already married, and the secret would probably get out anyways. My cousin was going to try and keep it a secret and the whole thing got out a month after they got married the first time anyways.
Post # 6
I know some who have done this because of the military and that’s probably one of the few cases were I truly support it. As a guest, I’d much rather be invited to a big one year vow renewal than a wedding a year later, but I know not all people will feel that way.
I don’t the idea of not telling people you’re married for an entire year. It just seems silly – he’s your husband for heaven’s sake! That’s something you should want to scream at the top of your lungs and announce to the world and to keep something so important and life-changing a secret for the sake of a wedding…honestly, it wouldn’t be worth it to me.
Post # 7
I think telling people you are already married and then having a 1-year vow renewal or something is a better idea.
I may not be even close to married yet but I know how hard it is to keep a secret, especially one as juicy as this. And believe me, people will be more pissed if you lie about being married than if you just admit you had a courthouse wedding, explain why you did it, and then invite them to the bigger shindig. But don’t be to surprised if some ppl dont show – there will peobably be some hurt feelings :