(Closed) So offended by bridesmaids' fiance's text to me

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 137
Member
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@fishwoman:  He is downright rude! If your friend was okay with it, or if she just said she was okay with it, he doesn’t need to stick his nose in!!

 

i personally think you would much more enjoy the experience if you kept it separate from your friends though. Through planning my wedding, my Maid/Matron of Honor decided to try on wedding dresses when I had planned a day to try them on myself and it was really crappy. We ended up spending hours at one store while she tried on dresses, and I didn’t try any on. I never said anything to her, but it did upset me.

Post # 138
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@mjwyatt84:  congrats on getting married!

Post # 139
Member
45 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@fishwoman:  I don’t think he had any right to say that, but I do sort of see their point. They haven’t realized that the day isn’t as important as the marriage, like you have. I know it sucks that you can’t share your plans with them, but speaking from experience it will be far easier on you to just let them live in their self centered world. You can focus on how happy you are with more supportive people around you and not be made to feel like the ‘bad guy’ by her and her fiance. Let her have ‘her day’ and enjoy your very own special day another time. Best of luck 🙂

Post # 140
Member
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Yes you overreacted. He shouldn’t have texted you that, but at the same time I see what he’s getting at. Just let it go.

Post # 141
Member
3471 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@fishwoman:  Great. To clarify though, I said SHE came out smelling like a rose and it was the fiance who had to pay the small price of looking like a jerk.

Post # 142
Member
866 posts
Busy bee

It may have been rude for him to text you but I am sure it is coming from somewhere, she must have said something about not liking it.

 

 

 

Post # 143
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Yeah, honestly, I don’t think you were in the wrong at all.

If this had been a day for looking for dresses, either bridesmaids or her wedding dress, or something, then sure, try and keep it about her.

But if it was just a “Let’s have a girls day and get measured while we’re all together…oh, and, by the way, I was already planning to go try on discounted dresses later on in the day – did you want to come with if you’re still looking for that flower girl’s dress?”  No, not at all.

Like others said, you get one day – the wedding day.  Not every wedding-related activity has to be a day solely revolving around that person’s wedding. 

Post # 144
Member
1602 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

EDIT: Count me out. Doesn’t seem to be a discussion looking for positive/forward advice.

Post # 145
Member
926 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

This obviously upset her, otherwise her Fiance wouldn’t have texted you. Now you know, don’t combine events. Just go to the store an hour or two before all the others so you can look around & get your shopping done before they get there.

Post # 146
Member
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@fishwoman:  Your friend doesn’t get a year, she gets a day. Her wedding day. What she never went shopping with girlfriends before and someone else is buying something for themselves?  It’s silly to think that if you go shopping with another bride for bridesmaid dresses she can’t or shouldn’t look for dresses for her maids. I’ve seen sisters who are both getting married look for their wedding dresses together. Your friend’s fiance was rude and out of place to send you that text. His world may revolve around his wife to be every one else’s doesn’t. 

Post # 147
Member
609 posts
Busy bee

When I bought my wedding dress, my maid of honor (she was my best-friends fiance) was trying on wedding dresses because she was recently engaged. 

 

It pissed me off. In fact, we found out shortly after that she was having an affair the whole time. I can’t say I don’t feel the day was tainted. 

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