(Closed) So offended by bridesmaids' fiance's text to me

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
1677 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@fishwoman:  does this describe how you feel  some?

 

Post # 48
Member
3949 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

I think think this is the problem …. sounds like your more … organized ..  Sounds to me like her Fiance was standing up to you like she can’t.  She may just go along with your ideas to keep everything .. good 

 

Today I planned for her that all of us bridesmaids would go order our dresses for her wedding and we’d have a girls day. She also wanted to look for flower girl dresses and I suggested going to a resale shop that she didn’t know of and also said I was thinking about trying on some wedding dresses since we’d both be together


you planned? this should have been HER day. He’s not wrong you are.

Post # 49
Member
4913 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

OMG Maybe I’m PMSing or something, but seriously if she was your friend she would have been THRILLED to share that time with you instead of being a big fat bratty baby and making this all about her.  There’s no fkn spotlight to steal.  This isn’t HS anymore.  Both her and her Fiance need to grow up and that’s exactly what I would say to him. 

I would say, “You need to grow up.  We’re all busy adults who don’t have time to go out 10x for wedding related things for everyone.  As my friend, I would expect her to be excited to share this time with me, not upset about the potential stealing of a stupid spotlight that doesn’t even exist.  If she has a problem with this, then she needs to address it with me personally; not through you.” 

Post # 50
Member
1677 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@HisIrishPrincess:  I think I don’t understand the concept of “her day” or “my day.”  I would feel incredibly selfish  to want and expect a whole (non wedding) day to be about me. I get that it was planned for her, but I still don’t understand. Maybe it’s because my bridesmaids haven’t even mentioned a shower or bachelorette party for me (46 days to go) and I would be thrilled if they even showed any sign that they were excited for me….Even if that meant “sharing” a day. Idk. 

Post # 51
Member
1677 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@futuremrsk18:  thank you. Exactly how I feel. All of this “but it’s HER day” was really getting on my nerves. 

Post # 52
Member
4913 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@sheepandbear:  Ugh, me too.  HER day is her WEDDING day, nothing else.  You don’t get the fully year.  She (OP’s friend) needs to get over herself.  As does her incredibly rude Fiance.

Post # 53
Member
3949 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

@sheepandbear: You would think one day .. .for you .. would be selfish …. wow … how  non tolerent to other’s that do want that experience.  

It was set up, as the OP said, to shop and do things for her friends wedding, not her own. I’m sorry your Bm’s suck. 

Post # 57
Member
1677 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@HisIrishPrincess:  I must say that I do prefer my bridesmaids over one that has your attitude. this isn’t high school anymore. This isn’t a sorority, this is real life and many people don’t have time for games like that. 

Post # 58
Member
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@MissFireFlower:  +1 

I get that you’re busy, and you’re happy and you want to share your happiness with friends, but I have to agree with the Fiance of your friend where this is her day to pick out dresses etc. A text message is tacky, and maybe it would have been best if your friend talked to you about this and explained this in a different way, but over all I feel like they are in the right to politely ask you to limit what you’ll be sharing when you’re sharing your friend’s day for her wedding, and wedding related needs. I feel like you’re  being over sensitive which isn’t meant to put you down in anyway it happens, and the way this text message came across could nip at some nerves, but if you talk this out with your friend, and understand where she is coming from I feel like this situation will resolve, and you two will understand where your wedding boundaries are, and things will smooth over once more, and you two will be chatty about your weddings again! 

Post # 59
Member
1677 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@fishwoman:  agreed. I wouldn’t want to be around somebody who expected days to be completely centered around themselves. 

Post # 60
Member
4913 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

You know what I think might have been rude on your part?  If you organized all the bridesmaids for her to go for her WEDDING DRESS shopping and decided to HIJACK the appointment and try on wedding dresses in the middle of her appointment.  Now, THAT I would understand getting a rude text for. 

But ignore all the PPs who say that this day was for your friend, OP, and so you shouldn’t have tacked on trying on some wedding dresses while everyone was around.  That is absolutely ridiculous.  You were/are not wrong.  And he is SO wrong for (1) bringing this up (2) through text.  Dispicable.  Honestly.

You don’t need friends like them.  I’m like you – I would do anything for my friends and that’s why it hurts when you get shit on in return.  I’ve lowered my expectations, but I certainly wouldn’t accept this type of behavior from anyone. 

Post # 61
Member
1224 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@futuremrsk18:  +5 for real! Why doese everyone have to have there own moment for every little thing. 

@fishwomen: To me it sounds like it was intended to be a wedding errand day, so why not knock errands of both brides lists. This seems like a generally crabby couple but I hate men like this. I would bring it to your friends attention and be straight forward about how you feel, or it’s going to be an awkward couple of months. 

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