My fiance’s father was more like a father to me than any man ever was, and he passed away in November suddenly and unexpectedly while we were visiting. He had a brain anneurysm in his sleep. It was incredibly hard on us, and still is. There are still things to be taken care of, and it’s things that you’d never think of. It has taken our entire family to assemble things, disperse his belongings amongst family members, clean out his apartment. There’s so much to a loss, not even including the extreme emotional hurt.
It’s nearly 6 months later, and I still come into the bedroom at night after a shower and find Fiance crying into his pillow. There’s days where it just doesn’t seem like it’s real, then it hits you. I had never lost anyone close and neither had he, so this whole thing has been a learning experience. However, both of our lives have changed drastically since his father has been gone.
With all of that in mind, I think giving it some time and revisiting the moving situation at a later time would be the best idea. This is still a very raw experience, and it should be treated as such. I can understand why he wants to be close to his family right now, and he probably will want to for a while.
Obviously the decision is amongst you two, but I think that a LDR sounds like something that may happen and you should be prepared for. If your SO feels that he needs to be with his family at this time, then you shouldn’t hold him back. This is life hon, and these things happen. You need to know how to form your life around tragedies, massive life changes, etc. I can understand that you’re young and if you have the thoughts that you don’t want to devote your life that intimately to someone to be able to change as their life does, then it doesn’t sound like you are ready for marriage. It’s not a bad thing, it just means that you’re not at that point in your life.
A long distance relationship is totally doable, but if you’re not ready for the commitment of shaping your own life around the things in his, then perhaps it is best to sit down and talk with him (at a later time when it’s farther on in the grieving process) about what you two should do.
Massive hugs coming your way, this can’t be easy hon!