(Closed) So our RSVPs are coming in…(RANT)

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 2
3611 posts
Sugar bee

That’s tacky and annoying. You’ll probably get some posts telling you you’re in the wrong for not giving every adult guest a +1 regardless of relationship status, but apparently those people aren’t acquainted with the constraints of space and budget.

Post # 3
3903 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Yeah that’s tacky on his part. Also, how are you going to figure out which RSVP is from who now? 😨

Post # 4
3332 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

You don’t need to give a +1 to truly single people, which it sounds like this person was. HOWEVER, maybe he recently started seeing this person, and wants to see how it goes? Either way, he is technically wrong, and yes it was tacky to cross it out.

Post # 8
4232 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I wasn’t upset about this…it was actually funny:

Darling Husband has a female cousin who CANNOT be seen without a date. She also burns through boyfriends REALLY fast so it is a MIRACLE if we see one of them at two functions in a row! We gave her a plus one as she had a boyfriend when we sent them out (and we knew she’d ask if we didn’t give her one). Days after the invites came out they broke up (to the surprise of no one). Then she started dating a new guy…then they broke up. Then she arranged a date…then he called it off. Then she decided to bring her gay guyfriend (her usual ‘back-up’ date who I’ve met maybe half a dozen times in the past). Then he bailed on her DAYS before the wedding. On the seating chart it said “guest of [DH’s cousin]” and we accepted the fact we may be paying for a plate for a guest that never comes. On the wedding day she shows up with a female friend nobody had ever met before…and I SWEAR it felt like she either hired her from an escort service or found her on the street on her way to the wedding.

Please note this all transpired over maybe three months! DH’s drunk uncle said it best one Christmas when she brought her ‘new boyfriend’ to Christmas dinner: “I’m sorry…I’m not going to learn your name because there were 300 guys before you, and will be 300 guys after you.” The kicker was her and that guy actually broke up a few days prior, but she forced him to come anyways and pretend they were still together because she could NOT come to Christmas without a date!

That’s just how she is *shakes head*

Post # 10
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

Haha, I’m sorry but I had to laugh at that. How is “maybe” even a remotely helpful response for planning food and chairs? We had someone who found out that we weren’t inviting plus ones/dates but were inviting girlfriends/boyfriends/SOs so he said “ok, well, then I just need to find myself a girlfriend.” He’s been single for years and there are zero prospects right now that I know of. Um, no. 

Post # 11
972 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Oh wow.  That would make me kind of laugh but also shake my head!  After your RSVP deadline could you do a message to everyone you didn’t hear from and just say you received some without names and are reaching out to figure out who is planning to come.  Seems like a good excuse for following up with those who never did rsvp either!   But yeah, as much as I would give people a +1, they still shouldn’t think they have the right to do that either.  It really doesn’t hurt to ask — I wouldn’t be offended by someone asking if they could bring someone–but to just cross it out on the rsvp card and not directly ask is not okay with me! 

Post # 13
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

kawood0618 :  can i just tell you i got people who not only added other people to their RSVP even though it said X number of seats have been reserved for you! I even got TWO back from people i DIDN’T invite! We numbered the backs of our invites so we were able to see who they really were supposed to go to. I made my husband call them and figure our what happened. Both people from the same family could’t attend so they just gave their invitation to someone else. I also got RSVPs back with NO name. Like really? If i didn’t number the backs of the invitations i would have been so lost. 

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