(Closed) So over my bridesmaids!!!!

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

aww Im sorry to hear. That sucks. Chin up tho. You can pull through… maybe vegas isnt the be all and end all? just a little dissapointing.

Post # 4
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Can you do something maybe in town that would be fun? When I started planning I wanted to do a destination bachelorette, but only five people would have been able to afford/take time off work/etc. So instead my Maid/Matron of Honor and I planned a fun night in town and I have about 10-12 people coming. I’m not that bitter about not being able to go to Vegas since I just want to spend time with everyone before the wedding.

Also, not to be mean, but you can’t be totally sure what he work schedule is unless you are your FSIL’s boss. Maybe she stays late to make up the hours or works earlier in the day. It doesn’t seem like something you should get involved in. If she says she can’t make it because of work then she can’t make it because of work. Enjoy the other people that will celebrate with you and have a good time!

Post # 5
Member
818 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

My girls didn’t even give me a bachelorette to-do. One was utterly broke and the other didn’t plan anything. I wouldn’t have had a shower if it hadn’t been for my Mother-In-Law (I know, not proper etiquette) inviting over her neighbor, my SIL, my mom, and me. I’m sorry your plans aren’t going like you wish they would, but you are going to have a great time with your girls whichever night you are able to go!

Post # 6
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

If it helps any, my Fiance had the same problem with his groomsmen and his destination bachelor weekend. At first, all the guys were very enthusiastic about it. But when the time came to buy plane tickets and hotels, all the guys dropped out like flies. I think they were truly excited, but the financial commitment was just too great. Bridal party members spend a great deal to be part of our wedding day, and brides and grooms have to be sensitive to that, even though we all know how much we shell out for the wedding!

Is it just your Future Sister-In-Law that is bailing? Or are the other girls bailing out on your bachelorette too? If so, I would try to plan something more local and see if that improves your attendance rate. Remember that the bachelorette party is such a tiny part of your wedding, so its ok if it doesn’t go exactly as planned.

Post # 7
Member
6661 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

I agree with Twinkle Toes, when it comes down to actually spending the $ people disappear into thin air. The idea of it sounds amazing, but when you have to actually pull out your wallet it’s not so fun anymore. Don’t be dissappointed about not going to Vegas, really it would have been fun but it’s just SO expensive and such a burden on most people. The only destination bachelor/bachelorette parties that are ‘doable’ are extremely cheap locations with cheap lodgings or when everyone is loaded. Fiance did New Orleans and the guys all piled into cheap hotel rooms and barely spent any $ while they were there. My ladies came up to NYC for 1 night of fun and I paid for the limo since they had to pay for dinner. You have to do what works for everyone!

Post # 8
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m with moderndaisy.  I think it is a lot to ask of people to take off work and go to Vegas.

Post # 9
Member
2015 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’m sorry you’re down right now 🙁

But keep in mind that it’s asking a lot of people to take time off work and spend money on a mini vacation when they have to also attend the wedding, buy the dres, shoes, etc. Even when they are your closest friends. It’s hard to judge other’s money situations even when you think you know what’s gong on. Even for my sister’s wedding, who is my best friend, I would have a difficult time forking over money for a Vegas b’ette party, even if I’d known about it for two years. It just all adds up, especially when the b’ette party is mainly about spending time with your friends. It doesn’t need to be fancy.

Post # 13
Member
860 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I know it is stressful, but if your Future Sister-In-Law is jealous and always trying to screw up your wedding plans, be glad she’s not going!  You will probably have a better time without her anyway.  I would also minimize her contributions to your wedding as much as possible.  You don’t need someone like that bringing you down.

Post # 15
Member
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Is your Future Sister-In-Law the only person backing out at this point? If so, then let her back out! It sounds as if she’s trying to make things convenient for her. Since they aren’t, let her do what she needs to do and have fun with your girls! You confirmed dates, gave her plenty of notice, and not all of your bridesmaids HAVE to be at your bachelorette party! I had 7 BMs, and only 4 could come. With busy schedules and 7 to contend with, we went with the date that worked for most people.

Now, if all of your other friends are starting to flake out, I’m really sorry! I know it’s not ideal, but maybe you could go to their town to hang out for the night? I know they should be coming to you b/c you’re the bride, but it’s definitely more fun when most of your friends can make it.

Post # 16
Member
612 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I’d just continue with your plans and let her drop out.  If everyone is dropping out then just have a local party and maybe you can do the Vegas thing as a girls weekend out after the wedding.

The topic ‘So over my bridesmaids!!!!’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors