Post # 1
I’m so tired of looking for a church! I get it. I have to follow your rules, and go to your counseling sessions to see if I “pass.” AND I get to pay you ridiculous amounts of money for your services. Seriously, $500 or JUST the pastor is insane. And to top all that off, I CAN’T HAVE PICTURES OF MY CEREMONY????!!!! WTF?!!
This makes absolutely no sense. I can understand that it’s seen as a “distraction,” but come on! At least my photographer should be permitted to take photos, I’m paying him $2000! Every church I’ve inquired about has this goofy rule. Seems to be the pastor’s rule, not the specific denomination…..GAR!
Seriously though, how do you feel about not having those moments documented as they happen?? Like your father walking you down the aisle, your very first kiss as husband and wife, and all those other emotional moments that happen. You can not re-create those afterwards in fake pictures. Gosh I’m so mad!
Post # 3
Are you looking at Catholic churches? In the area where I am getting married I looked at several and none had the no photographer rule, that’s odd. I have seen restrictions on lighting and flashes, but not “no photography.”
Is a church wedding very important to you? Perhaps you should check out alternate venues for a ceremony.
Post # 4
Oh, I got a better one for you……
the church we were looking at was $1,000 for the service! And, that does not include the priest’s “gratuity”
They do allow photography, BUT they have a laundry list of rules you have to follow, including no flowers, even fake, music has to be okayed by them, and you HAVE to use their musical people, even if you have family members that you want to participate.
Post # 5
Look on the bright side, since your hearts not set on one specific church at least you have options! Like you said its not a religion rule its just the rules of individual churches. Just keep looking and stay positive. We encounted a HUGE wall when we were trying to find our church since I wanted a Catholic service but we aren’t getting married in my home town.
Post # 6
Church rules are the reason why my FH and I decided we dont want one. We wanted to have a non-religious reading about love as part of our ceremony read by one of our friends and they said NO WAY because it’s not religious. We were told any reading must be picked from a list of selected verses from the Bible. That’s when when we decided we’d much rather pick a neutral site and choose an officiant and have our ceremony exactly how we want, instead of dictacted by the church.
I recommend this if it’s an option for you at all.
Post # 7
If you don’t belong to a church and don’t like their policies, why not have your ceremony elsewhere?
Post # 8
@diannalynn: We are looking at Baptist, Methodist and Presbyterian churches. Fiance won’t consider non-denominational churches and Catholic is out of play as well. We did find one church that was Methodist and allowed photos, but it was a female pastor, which Fiance doesn’t like. I could care less, but I have to respect his opinions just as he respects mine.
melyn44: The fees are crazy! I just was looking on a church’s web site for information and pictures of the space and their fees were over $1000! YIKES! And we can get hitched at our venue site, but that’s just not ideal. November weather can be tricky for an outside service and the option of moving it indoors in a tented area is not appealing. Plus my father won’t stop talking about a church service and really wants to hear the traditional organ as he walks me down.
@june42011: True! But, not having a decision is holding back some planning processes. So I’ll have to continue my search and try to find one SOON! Their goofy rules just make me angry!
Post # 9
I know they seem goofy, but the inside of a Church is a very sacred place and it’s understandable that each Church should be allowed to make rules, either made on religious beliefs or from previous bad experiences. For example, as much as my sister is paying for her ceremony flowers, she isn’t allowed to take them with her. They’re considered part of her donation to the church after the wedding.
To help with your search, I’d start looking at churches which are not part of a diocese or larger regional group. They’re most likely to have the same rules as each other. I’ve seen photos done in a lot of different churches so there is hope! Would your Fiance consider a religious non-church ceremony?
Post # 10
Different situation, but my rabbi has in her standard paperwork that pictures can’t be taken because they’re distracting and detract from the sacredness of the ceremony. However, she said with digital cameras (quieter), it’s less of an issue, so as long as the photog maintains a little distance, it’s fine. I’ll have someone make an announcement about turning off cell phones and no guest pictures during the ceremony, but I don’t care if my photog needs to climb a tree off in the distance – he will be taking pictures of my ceremony.
Post # 11
Yea, some churches tend to be annoying in many ways. My home church was like this, no pictures during the ceremony, pay money, go to counseling. But I know why they have those policies in place. I agree with their policies, it just sucks for my own wedding. Good thing we’re not getting married near my home church and chose a farm venue instead! 🙂
With a good photographer, they should be able to capture moments when the door is open or through a peep hole. And I did always wonder why you had to pay so much to get married at a church… but whatever. A lot of old churches also have decor policies, ie. they buy the candles if you want them (no matter how expensive) OR you can’t have candles at all.
It sucks. Boo. I feel ya!
Post # 12
Did you get the phone number to the Union church that I sent you? If you want, message me and I’ll try to help a little more.
Post # 13
@TheFutureMrsLamkin: That’s crazy. Although I should know this because even the Pastor’s son chose an outdoor wedding -=vs=- a indoor church wedding. Yeah . . . the rules should be chucked out the window. :
Post # 14
I too get insensed by this, as a wedding photographer myself that has been told on occasion…..NO PHOTOGRAPHY!
i usually can sweet talk them though, if i promise i can do it with no flash. and only once was i told definately not, EVEN without flash………so i sat at the back of the church, rested my camera on my knee, and STILL took pictures, HOPING there would be something i can use,, and luckily i got 3-4 very good ones!
But this rule does not seem to apply to guests with there point & shoot cameras flashing away.
so do you know what i do? i have my assistant go to sit in the front 2-3 pews…..as a ‘guest’ , then he gets the pictures. i have to keep the fact he is with me a secret but c’mon………
is it a house of god? if so it should be free, but no, its a house of business, in which case….you have paid hundreds of dollars to get married there…..so if they are treating it like a business there shouldnt be any harm in taking pictures/…..
some priests/vicars act as if they pay the bloody mortgage on the place.
Post # 15
@Ms.Shamrock:yes, I got the info, Thank you! i stopped there a little while ago to try to look inside. Looks really, really small…..We may end up with 85-100 people that come to the ceremony and there is also no where to park either. Boo. The quest continues!
Post # 16
@TheFutureMrsLamkin: where in south jersey you looking to be?? maybe i can help find some….