(Closed) So pissed at Fi's dad, picked a friday for Dec and undersold my car!

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Why does he get to dictate the wedding date?

Post # 4
Member
14965 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

There is definitely more than one lucky day in a year that can be picked.  I think it’s almost more important to avoid the unlucky days than to pick a “best” lucky date.   If THAT date in Dec he picked doesnt work… it shouldn’t be impossible to pick another that lands on a weekend.  As far as the car goes, I don’t even see how it’s possible for him to sell a car if it doesnt belong to him.  Who has the title to it??

Post # 5
Member
47203 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Kandykane :  If Future Father-In-Law is only picking the date because you don’t know what a lucky date would be, Fiance can tell his Dad that he can give you several lucky days and you will choose the one that works best for you and your immediate family.

Sounds like Fiance needs to stand up to his Dad in a number of ways.

Post # 6
Member
1836 posts
Buzzing bee

There are no Chinese/Vietnamese cultural groups you can go to for assistance.  While I do not understand this custom, and I am in no way bashing it, this is just a recipe for a wedding you are going to regret.

Post # 9
Member
1309 posts
Bumble bee

Why is his dad so involved in your lives? If you are Americanized, you live here, and you can respect your culture without completely doing every little thing they say. One great way to do that would be to pay for your own wedding, and pick your own date. Or tell him that date doesn’t work for you.

Post # 11
Member
55 posts
Worker bee

Kandykane :  so you’re mad that you are being a push over? If LITERALLY NO ONE YOU KNOW is even in touch with the culture enough to pick a lucky date then you’re being a push over. Just don’t use that tradition. Also clearly from the stories it sounds like you’re in some way financially dependant on these people not only that but you said he’s paying for the majority of the wedding. Grow up, don’t depend on others and make your own decisions. Otherwise, go lay in the bed you made. 

Post # 12
Member
55 posts
Worker bee

Kandykane :  also I’m an insurance agent. You put the car in FFILs name. He owns it. That was a really stupid thing to do. 

Post # 14
Member
14965 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

There’s following culture, and then there’s this.  This is ridiculous.  I’m first generation Chinese raise very close knit to all the extended family and old value/culture so I get this culture of respect, superstitions and traditions.  But what he’s doing is just steam rolling you and being a dictator.. and that’s not normal and you can’t blame that on culture.  I’m pretty sure that’s why they *left* China, for freedom and choice and opportunity, not a dictatorship so why should the family be run like that?

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