- 5 years ago
Tonight I’m having one of those moments when I can’t stop thinking in how much I love my SO. Mostly everything is so easy and relaxed with him. We enjoy being goofballs about silly stuff and things just sort of flow so nicely and easily it sometimes amazes me.
I am today patting myself on the back for many things. But mostly, because looking back, I had the courage to walk away from a 9 year relationship that wasn’t right. It was really hard to say goodbye while still loving with all my heart that man, my first love and my first everything. However, it became clear that if I wanted something better in life, if I wanted a true partner, someone who I could count on, a MAN… I needed to get out. No matter how much it hurt. Between the suffering of all the things he put me through and walking away, there were so many nights I just cried myself to sleep wondering if I would just have to settle for someone who I loved much less.
And later on, walking from my second relationship because we worked great as friends, to this point we do are great friends, but no couple. We never hurt each other, but at some point I recognized we had life plans that were in completely opposite directions.
Well, today I feel that my prayers and questions were answered. I couldn’t be happier. And the type of love and relashionship is way WAY more than what I ever had. I am grateful for this wonderful man, but yes, I am also very proud of myself and the woman I’ve become.
Just thought I’d share because somewhere around the world there must be another Bee crying herself to sleep right now and wondering if things do get any better. Yes, it took almost 10 years in my case, but I think learning to live happy and enjoy life on my own was a great lesson and helped me gain the freedom of just being with someone I love or like not because I need him, but because I want to. Knowing that if something were to happen tomorrow and that person is no longer in my life, in the end, things will be ok. I am grateful that i am no longer afraid to be on my own. Because it is SO much better to be single and doing your own thing than being in the wrong relationship suffering :-/
So Bees, please share why are you proud of yourself 🙂