- 4 years ago
So…I love to shop. A lot!!! But, I buy very cheap stuff from outlet malls and discount sites, so often my shoes are like $30 max, my dresses are $50 max, you get the deal. I also make about 60K/yr, I have savings and no kids, so this isn’t totally outrageous. The COL in my city is pretty high, but at the end of each month, I have more money than I did the month before, so I’m not going nuts.
SO really hates the shopping and told me that from now on, I can’t buy any more dresses (to be fair, i do have tons) and that I can buy tops, but he needs to approve them first. I love him and I want us to be happy together, but this strikes me as kind of controlling, and I feel like I’m going to grow to resent it. We’re also not married yet (although we have planned when we will get married), so I said, “Well, it’s my money.” and he’s like “Oh, I guess you don’t see us as a unit, etc”
I do see us as a unit, but still- it’s my paycheck and I’m not even spending that much! In all fairness to him he puts a lot of effort into being thrifty, and only spending money on things that benefit BOTH of us (no xbox, no expensive clothes) etc.
I recently got a gorgeous dress, which I plan to wear for a surprise trip I’m taking SO on. According to his “rules” I should show it to him, but the dress is really fancy and it’s really solely for that trip- and he has no idea about the trip, so I’m going to keep it private…but I feel so guilty 🙁
What can I say to SO that basically respectfully means “I love you, but my shopping isn’t your domain.”? Every time I say it, he takes it as a sign that I dont’ want to marry him because I don’t consider it “our money”.