- 7 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
I’m a regular poster on weddingbee but for privacy issues I have created this account to tell my story. For a while my boyfriend and I were fighting all the time. They would be stupid fights about nothing and he would just blow up on me. Recently we’ve gotten help and things have settled down ALOT…until last night that is. Last night we got into a fight over money and he got pissed. He ended up pushing me as hard as he could & even putting his hands around my neck as if he was choking me. He never actually choked me, but the intention was clear. He also threw me on the bed and grabbed my arms so hard that I now have a very dark bruise on my arm. He even told me to “die bitch” as he was “choking” me. I’m dumb & let it go once it all calmed down. Then today we talked on his lunch break and the conversation turned to how he took the last two drinks to work today. I mentioned it and he said a rude comment about how they’re his drinks and he’ll take them if he wants to and stuff like that. I got upset and he got mad that I was upset so he started being a jerk. I cried and cried for 30 minutes. I tried to stop crying because I’m babysitting my nephews who are out of school right now but I just couldn’t help it. I thought things were getting better and then all of this happened. I know I should leave but for some reason I STILL don’t want to. I don’t know why I don’t want to leave though because I’m so tired of the BS. I’ve put up with people abusing me my whole life starting with my dad, then my ex-boyfriend, and now my current fiance. I’ve had enough and part of me knows I don’t deserve it and then theres another part of me that thinks that if EVERYONE in my life is going to treat me that way it must be my fault. Seriously. Why else would it keep happening if it wasnt me? I’m just so lost and confused. I know what I should do, but I just can’t find the strength to do it.