(Closed) so sad about my weight :'(

posted 9 years ago in Full Figured
Post # 18
582 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Adams_bee:  You’re telling me! The cheapest I found was Hydroxy cut for 15 dollars at Fred Meyers. 

I hope you’ll feel better soon about this subject, I will root for you! 

Post # 19
2160 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Ugh.  What I wrote before just wasn’t helpful.

I hear you though… and it helps to hear someone say exactly what I’m feeling.

I wish the best for you!

Post # 20
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Reading this was like the conversation, or more like arguement, that I have with myself every single day of my life. I am now going to go put on my trainers and walk around the block, the route I haven’t walked since BEFORE my wedding. Even if it is 4 degrees outside. Thank You OP for posting this

Post # 21
557 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

My advice would be to not start diet and exercise at the same time, but to start with one. When I was pregnant I gained 70 pounds, on top of the 20 I had already gained. I ended up losing 95 pounds, I was 210 when I went into labor, I focused on my diet until I was down to 140, then added exercise to get me to 115. I was young then, now at 29 I go back and forth between 122-132. It is a constant struggle for me and I know it’s something I will battle forever. Some people look at me and think I am “naturally” small, but I think about what i am eating every single day and work really hard to eat a low cal diet.

Post # 22
434 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Ivorybuttons:  I think this is a good, helpful acknowledgement to make. Barring a few exceptions, no one likes it. It’s just so critical for heart health and bone density.


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@Missloveknot:  This is also great advice. Doing both can be really exhausting, both physically and mentally. I’m personally just working out right now, not really focusing on my eating.. as much. But I notice that after I have a good work out, I’m much less likely to “ruin it” by eating something really bad.


For my own advice, and this is just something to think about in a real way: you have one life and one body that has to get you through that life. There are two sides to this: 1. You need to take care of your body for it to take care of you as you get older. 2. Life’s short, either decide that you’re okay being full-figured or make a change, don’t waste precious time feeling badly about yourself!

Post # 23
2402 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

Join something like weight watchers… It worked for me! For somereason I always felf the push coming up to weigh in day so at least half the week I worked out and was healthy but the rest of the time I was aware of what I ate.

Post # 24
358 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You are lucky that time is on your side. Do they have Lite & Easy or Weight Watchers home meals where you are? They can be a great way to start.

My wedding is in 2 weeks. I’m about 15kg over what I wanted to be on my wedding day so I’m really a little bit disappointed about that. But for you, you still have time so you just have to make the first step πŸ™‚

Good luck xx

Post # 25
2803 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I completely understand how you feel. One day eating chocolate will make me feel sexy and decadent. The next day I will be disgusted at myself and try to eat “right” but the day after chocolate will call me back and make me feel sexy again.

But at the beginning of the year I started exercising and eating better and I just “knew” that I would do better this time (I know that sounds so lame but I did). Although, I didn’t know that I would be successful, things just felt different. 

I hate exercising, I really do. I hate getting ready, I hate going to the gym, I hate weights, I hate cardio. It’s so BORING!!! Everything about it is boring. 

My advice is this: 

1) Get on a food plan (like Lite n Easy) where EVERYTHING is provided for you. So that you basically don’t have to cook anything. I’ve done LnE before and the food is good, especially the dinners. Now yes, you will cheat. It will happen. BUT at least you’ll have good wholesome food in the house that is really easy to get to (you just microwave most of it) for when you want to eat well. It will be easier to eat healthily. And you’ll have a lot more time for exercise.

2) Find exercise you like. I have finally found mine and it is pole dancing. Pole is so. much. FUN! You don’t feel like you are exercising until you wake up the next day. There are always new tricks to learn so you always enjoy it. Don’t feel like “you can’t do it” because everyone can do something at pole. Maybe your arms are stronger or it’s your legs, either way, you’ll find something you can do. 

3) How do you motivate yourself to go to class? (be it Zumba or pole etc) PAY AHEAD. If you’ve already paid for your classes then you have to go or you’ll waste money. I sometimes don’t go to my casual class because I’m “tired” (lazy) and haven’t paid up front. But I always go to my other classes because I’ve already paid for them.

I know that it’s really hard but you owe it to yourself to try.

Also try myfitnesspal, it’s a free app that lets you log your food and exercise. It can help it feel more like a game.


Post # 26
1731 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@axeyourmakeupkit:  I agree with everything you said.  The two times I lost weight I hit a certain weight and it bugged me but I didn’t lose weight until I looked in the mirror and didn’t like what I saw, and that the person staring back at me was sad in general.

Before that moment I used to talk myself out of it down to the point of if you lost the weight you couldn’t afford to buy all new clothes.  Which wasn’t an exageration since I was a poor college kid. 

I lost the weight and gained it back slowly plus an extra 10 pounds.  I was so miserable I figured it wouldn’t work for me.  This time I reacted when I was trying on new clothes and was so unhappy with what I had to do to make them actually look good on me.  This time though I’ve focused on maintanence and telling myself I am worth spending the money on for new clothes during the weight loss process.  I am in the stage of weight loss where my current wadrobe doesn’t really fit anymore and I am anxious to get a new one in case I backside but since I’ve maintaned the weight loss for two months so far I am trying to calm the voices that are freaking saying that buying new clothes will make me anxious and eat more and then I won’t fit into them.  As it is the clothes I have now are already from  a pants downsize so I dunno why I can’t calm them.

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@Adams_bee:  I totally feel you.  But its true when your ready your ready.  I’m in a weight loss process at the moment and I have been talking myself out of going to the gym that I pay a membership fee to, a lot.  I did sign up for a class tomorrow and I am so excited to go!

It took me years to deal with my weight issues though and I did it step by step.  In college I started reading fitness magazine, which got me to do small switches like white bread to wheat bread etc.  Then I read some food books and took tips there like drink water when you think your hungry and if your still hungry after x amount of time then eat something.  These two have been ingrained I don’t even think about it anymore.

Then I learned how to fuel my body with a veggie diet.  I feel off the wagon for two years and I’m back on it again.  I feel like dealing with weight issues is a life time learning process and for me its been difficult because I kept gaining the weight back.  This time I’m really focused on holding on to the weight loss for periods of time because I am so afraid to back slide yet again and I don’t know how well I’d handle that.

I had the exercise down til I hurt my hip and now I’m scared to push myself so I must work on that!  Its a long process which is why you have to commit fully and commit when you ready.  I say pick up some of your books and re-read them if there something in there that you like or think would be useful then encorparate it into your life.  

The first time I lost weight I played DDR because I couldn’t go to a gym.  Don’t worry about doing a standard work out just start off by walking a little more everyday or parking your car further from the entrace.  Everyone little bit counts.  For me diet books were useless but books about nurtioned helped, my college nutritionist helped a lot,  diet plans never worked either but logging my meals did.  I got an idea of the food no nos I was doing and tried to turn them into healthier habits.  Not changing your food too drastically is a good idea just incorporating one good habit at a time so they stick really works.  I tried to make myself a motivational collection of pictures but I never looked at it, I asked friends to join but they werent consistent and I made weight loss posters and hung them but they didn’t help they just were like sitting there nagging me (or at least that how I felt lol.)

I think that maybe in order for you to figure out how you can lose weight you first need to really be ready and then figure out what exactly it is that you do now and change those habits little by little into healthy ones.  The danger with setting a goal in connection to a date is that you stress out and don’t acoomplish it (this happened to be for my graduation I went up two sizes instead of going down two sizes) or you lose all the weight for the event and then eat normal again which makes you gain it all back (this has happened to me twice!)

Best of luck to you and I hope that no matter what you look like on your wedding day, that you will figure out when you have had enough and you are ready to get rid of that excess poundage.


Post # 27
1182 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I joined Fitocracy. I’ve found it really motivational. πŸ™‚ ( http://www.fitocracy.com πŸ™‚

I think the main thing is that you need to make a commitment to yourself. Changing your diet and exercise level and improving your fitness isn’t a temporary thing. It’s a lifelong lifestyle change. When you wrap your head around that, that it’s not about temporary torture and deprivation, but making positive changes that will become a permanent part of your life, it gets easier. Don’t be so hard on yourself when you fall down, either. The hardest lift of all is your ass off the couch. πŸ™‚

I don’t know what your current fitness level is like, but don’t try to change too much at once… you can’t drastically change your diet, start working out six times a week, and expect everything to just run like clockwork. Your body isn’t used to it. Pick small, attainable goals. (This is actually where Fitocracy was the most helpful to me, I’ve always had trouble with setting reasonable goals, and when I fail to meet my own impossible goals, I get really discouraged and kind of give up.) “Eat healthy” is not a good goal… “I will order ice water instead of soda in restaurants,” is a good goal.

Or “Go for a fifteen minute walk after dinner three times a week.” And then do it. Schedule the time and set an alarm in your phone to remind you. And then DO IT. Even if you’re tired, or if there’s something on TV, or you have to do the dishes… that’ll all still be there in fifteen or twenty minutes when you get back.

For me, just changing my exercise habits, without any kind of strict diet changes, I’ve lost about 10 kg in the past year. That’s just working up to lifting weights 2-3 times a week and biking 3-5 times a week.

It also helps a lot that Mr. E and I both started working out, so it’s something we do together, and sometimes just having that other person to say “Okay, time to work out!” is all it takes to get moving.  We also bought a set of dumbbells and weight plates so that we can both use it, and we don’t have the excuse of not wanting to go to the gym in the evening.

Which makes it sound easy, but it’s not. One of the things you have to learn, right off, is that you can’t abuse yourself. “I’m too damn lazy,” and “What the hell is wrong with me,” etc. aren’t going to motivate you. (Would you feel like getting up and doing something for someone else that talked to you like that? πŸ™‚

It’s little steps, one at a time, and you do them until they become habit. And then you add another. Slowly, and carefully. It’s like building a house of cards. If you try and pile too much on too fast, without building a good foundation, the whole thing comes down.


Post # 28
2451 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Adams_bee:  Try writing your food diary before you eat, not afterwards. Also, I don’t know how much weight you want to lose (I have noticed that women who weigh 120 and want to weigh 110 are every bit as upset about their weight as woneb trying to lose 100 or more) but try giving yourself an end date. For example, if I want to lose 10 pounds and it is June 1, I will tell myself I will be done by July 1 – it makes the time go by faster.

On diet pills: They used to work (when they contained ephedra). The FDA has pulled those off the market because of health problems, etc. I doubt anything on the market really works right now, at least in the US

Post # 29
9973 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Take a picture of your dream dress, and tape it to the pantry and fridge.  Every time you go to eat, you’ll see it, and it’ll help you resist!

Post # 30
1182 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013


There are some diet pills that “work”, though I think they are prescription only and they work by blocking your body’s ability to take up specific nutrients, which frankly scares the hell out of me. I would never do that to myself… what if they mess you up permanently somehow? 

Post # 31
159 posts
Blushing bee

I would break it down into short time periods which are manageable in your head. Say I will be committed to being active and eating well for 2 weeks. This is not a long time in the context of your life. Grab it with both hands and impress yourself for just 2 weeks. Have a little calendar up and make a cross for every day you do your workout. I almost guarantee you will not look back. 


I also find food substitution works wonders. Losing weight isn’t about depriving yourself (lettuce for lunch? Bugger off!). Think of the foods you like and put a spin on them. And then just do that every time you eat.


New cheeseburger: lean meat patty, wholewheat bun, lettuce/tomato, mozerella.

New hot drink: green tea with lemon (an acquired taste, but you get used to it!!)

New pizza: OK there isn’t a completely healthy alternative to pizza that doesn’t taste like cardboard, so just have a small one a week.

New cakes/biscuits: rye/oat biscuits with fat free cream cheese.

New crisps: not much of a substitution there, AVOID! πŸ™‚ 


Don’t add any sauces to your food besides tomato sauce. Ovenbake chips are your friend. Target your pitfalls and put a spin on them until you’ve transformed your whole diet. It’s actually quite fun to see how healthy you can make it while still making it tasty (cos you’re not going to eat it if it’s not tasty, let’s get real,  so this diet is realistic AND tasty) Laughing

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