(Closed) So sad and furious that I’ve lost one bridesmaid.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 4
Member
2584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I’ll be honest, I’m a little confused… you suggested that she wouldn’t have enough time to be a bridesmaid, but say that you haven’t asked her to do anything… I’m just curious what you meant by not enough time? It seems like there was more to the conversation so maybe it’s just the context.

Post # 5
Member
2288 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

You know, she may just be going through some major changes that she doesn’t know how she feels about. I did the same thing when I was laid off. Suddenly everything was different. I was really worried all the time about everything: money, the apartment, my car, my prospects, my wedding, everything. Well, everything except my Fiance.

Try to cut her a little slack. Ask her if there’s anything that she needs. Barring that, ask her why she’s been so distant, and if there’s anything that you need to apologize for. That should get the ball rolling.

Post # 6
Member
1370 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

It sounds like you have a 1-sided friendship. If it’s going to stress you out by having her be a bridesmaid – ask her to step down. A bridesmaid is supposed to be a close friend, someone who supports you and wants to help you. If you think this person is not a true friend, then the deicison is made for you.

Being a bridesmaid is more than just showing up at the wedding with the right dress.

Post # 7
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Yeah the friendship is a bit one sided at the moment, but that’s what friendships can be like. When one person is going through a really hard time, which she obviously is, they might not be as good of a friend. Of course, the person who is having a hard time and going through things will change many times throughout life. I think you need to cut her some serious slack, she sounds depressed about losing her job and like she’s having difficulty focusing or opening up to anyone. She needs your support right now a lot more than you need hers.

Post # 10
Member
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@MrsWeddingbliss: Oh wow, she doesn’t even have you on the invite list for her planning?! That is freaking cold. Well, unless it’s like teeny tiny immediate family only. But I’m assuming not if she’s planning this far in depth when she’s not engaged yet.

Do you feel like she is ignoring just you, or has she been like this with other friends lately too? Just trying to gauge if she is depressed and shutting everyone out or if she really doesn’t want to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man.

Post # 12
Member
3798 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

You should ask her straight out if she wants to be a bridesmaid. If she says no, then don’t beat yourself up about it…just move on. It sounds like she has a lot going on right now. You never know, seeing you not having the same troubles that she has right now might make her a little bit less enthusiastic about your wedding. It will be ok. It’s not you, it sounds like it’s her.

The topic ‘So sad and furious that I’ve lost one bridesmaid.’ is closed to new replies.

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