(Closed) SO SAD.. Fiance's aunt's wedding dress is very similar to mine. :(

posted 6 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@MrsLucero51:  I told him that something’s in my mind, and I want to tell him but I really can’t. That made him even more worried. ๐Ÿ™

Well first of all I would tell your poor Fiance straight away that it’s nothing serious! He might be thinking something much worse is troubling you! He might be thinking you’re having second thoughts about the marriage or something!

I really think you should banish these worries from your mind. To the vast majority of wedding guests, a big white dress is a big white dress. They will think you look like a bride and you look beautiful, but beyond that most of them probably couldn’t say much about any of the dresses they’ve seen at weddings. I think the importance of the “right” dress is more in how it makes us as brides feel beautiful than in how the guests see it. And you know there are only so many styles of wedding dresses; there will always be overlap. For about a ten year period, every single wedding I went to featured a strapless satin ballgown. It didn’t make me think the brides looked any less lovely. Please don’t worry about this! And please let your Fiance know that he shouldn’t worry either!! Poor thing!

Post # 4
491 posts
Helper bee

5 months is a long time for everyone to forget what her dress looks like. 

Even if someone thinks ‘hey, her dress looks pretty similar to X’ so what?  It’s still a dress you love and feel good in, right?

Don’t worry about it. 

Post # 5
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Chin up. Nobody will compare or notice. Honestly, I usually forget what the dress looks like as soon as the day is over. If it wasn’t for photos everyone but the bride does, Be excited for their renewal and think how exciting this year is all chock full of wedding bliss.

If your sad because you think this is going to “take away,” from your dress, put that fear to bed. It’s five months out and even if it was the day after- nobody would compare the two very different women in their unique gowns!

Post # 6
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Hair and accessories will make a huge difference, too!  Don’t stress!

Post # 7
8730 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Nobody will notice or care- really.

And please talk to your FI- just let him know you were having a minor wedding freakout but that it is all ok.

Post # 8
942 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

something tells me you’re gona wear that dress better than Aunt Flo ๐Ÿ˜‰ 

With hair & makeup, different flowers / colours & hairpiece you can totally make it your own. Would love to see some ‘comparison’ pics after tomorrow

Post # 9
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

As for your fiance, when stuff like that happens to me, I just say, “It is a silly girl wedding secret that I can’t tell you.” and he laughs and stops bugging me, but isn’t worried anymore.

As for the Aunt… why is she wearing a huge ball gown to a vow renewal? I think they’ll talk more sh!t about how tacky she is than your dresses being similar. Also: All wedding dresses pretty much look the same anyway. In 5 months, no one is going to remember her dress. But if you put you and her side to side, you’re going to look about 1000 times better because she is going to look ridiculous. Some people might not agree with me, but I would not wear a ball gown when I’m 50. No way, no how. Dressing below your age only makes you look older.

Post # 10
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@MrsLucero51:  Honestly, I don’t want to minimize your feelings, but you have to take a step back and look at the situation differently.  

First of all, is it really worth it getting your Fiance all worried about what’s going on with you over this?  

Secondly, her vow renewal is very soon.  What are the possible solutions?  She can’t NOT wear her dress and you shouldn’t NOT wear yours.  

Thirdly, it’s got to bring you some comfort knowing that she didn’t do this deliberately and it really was just chance.  So there’s really no one to be angry with.

Finally, YOU have control over how you handle this situation.  You may go to the vow renewal and be surprised how UNLIKE your dress hers looks.  And by the way, just the fact that it’s not the same dress is a plus (that happened to me with another relative in my family).  Remember, while the dress and how you feel in it is important, it’s not the most important part of the day.  And I have no doubt that even the SAME EXACT dress would not look the same on two completely different people.  

You have to remember what’s truly important and not let the unimportant things (especially ones that are beyond your control) affect you.


Good Luck.  I hope you feel better after the renewal.

Post # 11
3885 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

This really should not upset you.

Post # 12
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I think the thing to remember is that wedding gowns often share the same shape.  Also, a lot of people wear lace.  She is just happening to do both.  If you’ve got off-the-shoulder lace, and hers is a bolero, then that sounds totally different to me!  No one is going to think you’re wearing the same thing.  Nothing emphasizes the fact that two similar dresses are in fact totally different more than seeing Bees posts photos of the dresses they like here.  And even though we can see that stylistically the dresses are similar, they usually look totally different!  With two different necklines, I think your dress will totally stand out ๐Ÿ™‚  

Post # 13
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

First thing first, I think it’s a bad idea to alarm your Fi because your statement can mean anything and having him worrying.

Second Wedding dresses look differently depending on how people wear them and have them tailered. You also are worrying before seeing the dress.

Third, not to be mean but honesly I bet you nobody but you cares. After you go to a few weddings you see the bride think she looks fab but if you had to compare and contrast to other people I bet you almost none of your guest can do it.

Post # 14
901 posts
Busy bee

I sincerely doubt anyone will notice. Also, this dress will very likely look much, much different on a 50 year old woman than it does on you.

There’s nothing to worry about.

Post # 15
172 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I agree with a previous poster, you need to tell your FH more than that! It would even be got to tell him that your worriea are about your dress without telling him any more details than that. But put the poor man’s mind at ease! 

On the actual subject of the dress, I also say that most likely no one is going to compare your dress with the aunt’s. They will simply think you look beautiful. If on the rare chance that someone does notice the similarities, based on your description of the two dresses, they will think yours is executed much nicer, and you’ll therefore come out looking better anyway. So I really wouldn’t stress about it!!

Post # 16
11270 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i wouldn’t worry about it too much.  your wedding is months away.  no one will remember her dress.  besides, there are soooo many lace dresses out there.  everyone looks different in these dresses due to height, weight, body shape, hair, accessories, etc.

trust me, you won’t look like twins.

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