Post # 1
Due to financial difficulties (aka crippling student loan debt), Fiance and I have moved in with my parents. For the most part all is well. I am even able to carpool to work with my mom (as we both work the same hours, a 40 minute drive from our house).
But there is a problem: My mom (and she is the only person in the house) is constantly smoking, and doing so in front of everyone!
She lights up in the family room when we (and when I say we, I mean my dad, sister, Fiance and me. Of all of us in the house she is the only smoker) are all having a good time watching TV as a family. We all think that the cigarette’s stink, we wish she wouldn’t smoke for her own health, we wish she wouldn’t expose us to the second hand smoke for our health. And to make matters worse, my dad and I have really bad allergies, which her smoking only irrates worse.
Now that I am carpooling with her, she lights up for almost the entire drive. When I ask her to stop she just says “my car, my rules” and tells me to stop lecturing her.
She is so stubborn about continuing to smoke around us, it is so frustrating! I don’t know what to do. Sorry, I just had to rant a bit.
Post # 3
@nutMeg13: I can empathize. My mom smokes and I can’t stay at home long before developing a major migraine. You’re such a trooper for being about to deal!
Post # 4
@nutMeg13: I can empathize. My mom smoked around me my entire life even after being told I had asthma. My youngest brother (out of 4) was born in 2001 and she decided to not smoke around him. If he wasn’t around or in the car, she would light up. I would be coughing my lungs up and it wouldn’t phase her. FI’s parents do the same. They had a rule of not smoking in the house, but began to do it anyways. FI would bitch and they would tell him to mind his own business. I did use to smoke for a few years because well, I figured if I was going to get cancer from other’s mistakes than I might as well partake (half joking). I quit and I am now bothered even more by it. No one cares. Smokers can be very ignorant. I, at least, made sure someone was okay with my smoking in their car/house or went outside.
Post # 5
It is her car, but even so, I find it so bothersome!
I just really don’t understand what is going through her head when my dad and I’s eyes are watering and we are sneezing like crazy and she still continues to smoke like a chimney
Post # 6
My dad used to be this way. I got really sick last year, though, and my neurologist said I absolutely could not be around second hand smoke. I told my dad. He quit smoking around me. If I’m at home(meaning his house) then he’ll even go to his room to smoke now. Or outside. And if he’s at my house, he’ll go outside. It makes me SO happy and it’s made me feel a lot better! Maybe you could just talk to her about it like you’re concerned about YOUR health – not trying to pick at her.
Post # 7
ugh, how obnoxious.
My dad smokes but luckily not in the house. I am actually allergic to cigarette smoke so I make sure people know if they light up around me.
Most people are considerate but some just laugh or roll their eyes, like it’s totally unbelievable that someone could be bothered by cigarette smoke.
But then I start coughing so hard I gag and/or throw up and I blow my nose 1,000 times and my eyes start watering and they look at me in shock like “oh is this bothering you?”
…..really? Could I fake that?
Post # 8
Oh, man. That’s tough. I agree with her that it’s her car/her rules. However, you are her daughter! Hell, I used to smoke but I would get out of the car to do so when I had my son. About a month ago, I honestly would not have had much sympathy because I was a smoker and had never experienced the non-smoking side of it. However, now that I’ve quit and Fiance still smokes it’s awful. I think you’re Mom probably doesn’t understand how bothersome it is….
Maybe wear some awful perfume and spray in the car so she’ll “get it.”