(Closed) So so angry at SO

posted 9 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
9209 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

In all honesty I think it may be because he doesn’t want the added pressure of others asking him when he is going to do it since he (you) has purchased a ring.

If you can decide that you would reject his proposal because of this then the relationship is probably not the right one for you.

Post # 4
7547 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Maybe he’s embarrassed that you’re the one picking it out since it’s not the traditional way. Perhaps you should emphasize to him that your family doesn’t care or won’t think any less of him. 

Post # 5
44 posts

I don’t remember all your postst but you are together a long time correct? What does he mean when he says when the time is right?

Post # 6
7643 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

 I think it’s because he is waiting for the right time. If you tell someone it’s going to possibly be like a game of telephone: before you know it, you will be engaged without him even having proposed to you and that may scare him.

Post # 7
2861 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Why are you buying your own e-ring without him and with your sister? I can’t see many men jumping for joy over that…

Post # 8
3622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I would want him to buy the ring and give it to me when he’s ready. That would prevent having to discuss the non-traditional situation with anyone.

Post # 9
2393 posts
Buzzing bee



I know you’re frustrated, but I think it’s a step in the right direction that he’s giving you a budget for the ring. Not just a budget, but cold, hard cash.

I know some or many will disagree with me on this, but if I were in your shoes I would probably start nagging him and pestering him to death until he agrees to let you go shopping. LOL. Probably not the best advice, but I’m just being honest. Haha.

As for going ring shopping alone, I don’t think that is a problem. In fact my DH pretty much turned me loose in the stores and told me to pick something out. He hates stores, hates crowds, hates high-pressure salesman, and was all too happy to let me hunt for the ring I wanted. I know some guys would really prefer to be involved, but not all guys are that way.

Post # 10
3312 posts
Sugar bee

Maybe he just wants to keep it between you two until he actually proposes. People can add unnecessary pressure. Keep quiet and do what he said to do.

Post # 11
2031 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It’s very possible he doesn’t want the added pressure of EVERYONE waiting for him to plan the proposal.  DH1 got my ring, and I knew about it (I wasn’t supposed to, but we had a joint checking account so it was easy to figure out when I saw a large purchase at a jeweler), but I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone until he proposed and we were ENGAGED.  To him, it made it all the more special that I had something big to tell them and then they would be surprised because I wouldn’t be as much.  It SUCKED, because it took months, but when he did propose I was SO excited I got to tell everyone we were engaged and were met with surprise instead of ‘Oh it’s about time’ if that makes sense?  I think it’s a guy thing, the proposal is the one thing they can really control and they like to keep it that way.  I’d respect his wishes, but if you absolutely need your sister’s input you can always say you’re looking in case he ever gets around to asking, or make it something silly like that.  

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