Post # 1
Member
186 posts
Blushing bee
Here’s the story: My grandparents have offered to help with the wedding, and I wanted to discuss the logistics of it (how much, with what exactly) over dinner rather than just email. Our relationship has been rocky in the past and while it’s mending, my “step-grandmother” (not sure what to call her, I just always called her by her name) is hesitant about me getting married, but she claims she’s excited.
Here’s where I’m nervous. Because of our past rockiness of our relationship, I don’t know how to even go about this situation. I never expected there help, although it’ll help immensely. I don’t want to step on their toes about it either though–they don’t have to help me, it’s their choice. Any advice?
Post # 3
Member
5886 posts
Bee Keeper
1) ask them if there are strings attached– do you have to invite their friends? Or have at t heir church? Or if you do anything non traditional, will they withhold the money? If you think they might say one thing,but do another, get it in writing– this is a gift to be used towards your wedding that you may use as you see fit, we do not expect anything inreturn
2)try to get the money up front, that way it’s not 2 weeks before your wedding and Oops, they don’t have it anymore
3) if that doesn’t work, have them pay for something like flowers or your dress, but tell them howmuch that will cosT. Mostpeople don’t know that flowers can be $1000-$2000.
Post # 4
Member
1181 posts
Bumble bee
I hear you! When people want to give you money for a wedding they usually feel that they have a say in how it is spent. Just ask what is expected or if it’s for you to spend how you see fit.
Post # 5
Member
4687 posts
Honey bee
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
It’s never an easy conversation but make sure you know EXACTLY how much they’re contributing. Take them out to lunch or something and say “Thanks again for helping. How much is feasible to contribute?”
