(Closed) So sorry for this novel I have written but I’m desperate need of advice…

posted 9 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2009

Wow! First of all I just want to say you have more patience then I even could wish for. Personally if I were you I think you might want to remind them that you are doing the best that you can to accommodate all of them. Just a simple, “I’m really trying to find stuff that works for everyone budget but I’m starting to feel defeated with all the complaints all the time”. They may just not realize that you are getting complaints about everything. And if they keep up with the complaining you might let them have the options. I think once they see that you have picked out the one that fits their budget best they might not be so inclined to complain. Or if they do you can turn it around on them and tell they; “hey, I let you pick them out so you can complain”.

Hope it all works out and just remember it’s your wedding day so don’t them bring you down at all!


Post # 4
365 posts
Helper bee

I’d just give them the dress and tux and tell them to put them on the kids and bring the kids on the day.  It doesn’t need to be a negotiation.  So stop negotiating with them!  Tell them you have more important things to organise and this is how it is or they can opt out.

Can you buy the tux and dress yourself, use them for the kids and then sell them on ebay after the wedding?  I bet you could make a profit as you got some real bargains there.

Sometimes it’s hard to confront people, but you need to put your foot down.  Start out as you mean to continue – otherwise this will be happening again and again over other issues not related to the wedding too.


And about the cake?  Why didn’t you tell her you wanted a shower cake?  Why did you agree to a v-day cake if you didn’t want one?  You can’t get mad at Fiance for Future Mother-In-Law because you “smiled & said whatever you make will be great & we will love it”.  You were too scared to tell her what you wanted, now you want him to do it for you?

Give her a call and tell her you would like a shower cake.  Tell her that you and Fiance discussed it and that’s what you want.  Then she can make a cake she knows you want.  

It’s time to stop thinking and feeling and assuming and start being honest and upfront with people 🙂  You can do it!  This is your wedding!  You’re going to be a member of this family so get stuck in there and be yourself. *hugs*

Post # 5
126 posts
Blushing bee

You need to tell them it’s stressing you out. People can be very narrow minded and blinkered when it comes to these things and probably won’t realise or appreciate all the effort you’ve put it.

Be tough and final with them and explain you don’t have the time or resources to do any more than you already have.

Perfect example – when I asked my 3 good friends to be my bridesmaids I told them they could just wear their own dresses as I wasn’t particularly bothered about them all looking ‘bridesmaid-y’ but they all said they wanted to look like bridesmaids and be co-ordinated so I went with what they wanted to make them happy. Big mistake!!! They’re all different sizes, all want different parts of their body covered and all have different tastes so trying to find dresses has been a nightmare for me. But from their point of view they just want to look like my bridesmaids wearing nice dresses that suit them so they can look good on my special day – they probably have no idea the stress they’ve caused me.

Plus, a vest with no jacket will look better than with a jacket as all the kid will do is shrug it off as soon as possible – let kids be kids.

Post # 6
7429 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

You need to stop bending over backwards and tell these people how you feel!!  They are probably being so obnoxious because they know you will go along with anything, so why not push you until they can’t push anymore???

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