- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2014
SO has told me for months that he wanted to propose during my Spring break, at the end of this month (After it didn’t happen May 2012 like he had promised me before). I told him in September that he could propose any time Fall semester except during finals and then until the end of Spring break. I said if he didn’t propose by the end of spring break, I would prefer if he waited until August. After Spring Break I have to study hard core for my last semester of law school final exams and then I have to study all day every day until I take the Bar Exam at the end of July. I explained that we wouldn’t have any time to celebrate an engagement properly while I was studying, and I did not need any distractions because I wanted to pass the bar the first time. He said he understood. My whole family is flying in from across the country for my law school graduation in May and I said would love to go wedding dress shopping while they are all in town, so if we could be engaged by May, that would be lovely.
The first weekend of Spring break, we are running a 15K together (and he knows I want to look nice when he proposes, so I figured that was out). Then SO asks me if I want to go to a Comic Convention during the last weekend of Spring break (more his thing than mine), and I tell him that we can discuss it later because I am not sure that is what I want to do with my Spring Break.
Before I talk to him about it, he goes ahead and buys tickets for both of us (I got a confirmation email). I was secretly frustrated because I was hoping he would propose that weekend, and he knows better than to propose to me at a Comic Book Convention (since that’s not really my thing at all). He can tell I am upset, but doesn’t realize it is proposal/engagement related. I told him we can go, but that I will not be missing Easter dinner with my family. After that I was just sad and figured I would be waiting until August and not go dress shopping with my family who lives on the east coast.
SO could tell I was still upset and he is pretty good at knowing when I am not telling the whole truth- so he keeps pushing me about it and I eventually spill the beans and say that I guess since we are going to the comic convention, we must not be getting engaged over Spring break. He asked how I knew that and I explained my reasoning. He said that maybe he was planning on proposing during the week, and I said that “Tuesdays aren’t romantic” and something about how “he promised me it would be romantic and worth the wait because he made me wait an extra year.” Obviously, I was really upset and word vomitted and cried and was a hot mess.
Then he proceeded on telling me that he was working on planning to take me to Mexico for Spring break and propose there. He said he had looked into some island in the pacific, Ireland, Paris, New Zealand and some other places, but Mexico fit best into his budget and our time scheme. He said it was also one of the few places that neither of us had been to before, and he wanted to go somewhere new for both of us to experience together and be “our” place. (He was in the Navy so he has been all over the world, and I had some study abroad experiences and places I loved it visit). He said that the flight had a lay over in Houston and he planned on having dinner with his sister while we were there and then we would go to the Yucatan peninsula in Mexico, see the ruins at Chichen-itza, have a nice vacation, and he would propose during our trip.
I told him he shouldn’t have told me any of that because now there isn’t any surprise at all. I helped pick out the ring, and I would know it would happen some time during our 4 day trip in Mexico. He said that as soon as he told me we were going to Mexico, I would know that he would probably propose. I think there is a difference between suspecting he might do it and truly knowing it is going to happen. His point is that I know the location and the 4 day window, but I have no idea how exactly it will happen.
When all this happened, he hadn’t booked anything yet. I said we could go on a trip in August if he wanted because I didn’t want him to rush this (the proposal) and I had waited an extra year, so a couple more months wouldn’t matter. I told him he had procrastinated on everything and that the ring may not be done in time and I would rather wait than have him throw something together because this was a once in a lifetime moment. I said I wasn’t sure if I wanted to go, and he was really surprised because this is what I had been wanting for a long time. And it is, but not like this.
Now he has gone ahead and booked everything. The ring still isn’t done yet and he wants to leave for Mexico in a week (3/25). I told him this morning I still had reservations about the whole thing and wished I hadn’t known everything. He said if I really didn’t want him to propose there, we could just go on a nice vacation. I’m feeling really torn about it all and I really wish he hadn’t spoiled the surprise. He figured if it was in a good location, we would automatically have a better engagement story to share. I don’t care where we are- I just wanted something that cared enought to put effort into that was sweet and romantic and personal- I feel like I waited an extra yea for this and he is throwing it together the week before- how much effort could he really put into this and how good could something be with only a week or two to figure it out?
What would you bees do? Is this proposal ruined before it happens? Did you know it was going to happen?