Post # 1
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB
He’s stressed and i am stressed…and two stressed people who don’t communicate well leads to difficulites. I am for one am not enjoying any of it. I feel like i shouldn’t be this emotional, this on edge all the time. but i am. Aren’t i supposed to be happy? but i am misreable everyday. Yeah i am marrying the love of my life but right now we suck at us!!! We argue over everything, and i do mean everything. Today for instance we argued over the freaking permit test that i am taking friday. He says he was only trying to help by asking me questions that may be on the test, but it turned into a huge issues. and i over feeling like this. It’s constant. Like a weight is being placed on my shoulders that i no longer want to carry.
I wonder if any of you bees have felt like this before? iS THIS NORMAL PART OF WEDDING PLANNING? Because if i feel like this, he has to feel it too right? I mean i can’t be the only one.
Post # 2
Member
5268 posts
Bee Keeper
absolutely_tati: How important is a formal wedding to you? Personally, if wedding planning is that miserable of an experience, I’d get married another way. There is no rule that says you have to have a big wedding. You can have an awesome elopement or a small destination wedding.
I eloped the first time, and I have zero regrets! I am now planning a vow renewal, but is also going to be small 
Post # 3
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
absolutely_tati: <br />I don’t think you’re the only one. My FI and I aren’t arguing, but that’s only because my FI is the most understanding and patient person ever. I snap at him pretty often (and later apologize) about wedding stuff because I absolutely hate planning it. I can’t even fake excitement when people ask me how it’s going.
Post # 4
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB
pinkkillersheep: yeah I honestly can’t wait for it to be over. I’m looking forward to the day after. I can’t wait to just be married. I am so not excited for the wedding. People LOVE asking about all the details.
Post # 5
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
I think it s perfectly normal for both the groom and bride to be, to be stressed out. At least, that’s how it is with me and FI. It has even come to a point where I hardly discussed anything with him about the wedding. I am so sick of him not participating in the planning but just complaining about it after the fact, that I’ve decided to just make decisions by myself, (well at least the ones that aren’t major) and just do what I think is best. Example: finances: I’ve spent over 3000 dollars on the wedding so far (that includes my dress, shoes, jewelry, decorations, etc. etc. etc.) and fi has spent very little. Ok, he does make alot less money than I do but still. So this week he tells me instead of renting out a tux, he’s thinking of buying a nice suit. Good idea, I think. I ask him..euh will you be paying for this new suit or will it go on our joint credit card. He says: joint credit card. Ok, fine with me. So now ive decided I too will be putting on our joint credit card the highlights and cut i will have to get done on my hair for the wedding. Here I was for the last couple of weeks wondering how I would get the money to get my hair done. FI still doesn’t know about my hair going on our joint credit card. Oh well. What’s good for him should also be good for me! I’ve decided that from now on what ever purchases i have to do that is related to the wedding is going on the joint credit card. We’ll deal with it after the big day. Can’t wait for it to be over so we can our life back. I’m so sick of planning this wedding!
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This reply was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by Lauraine.
Post # 6
Member
679 posts
Busy bee
- Wedding: September 2014 - SPRING VALLEY COUNTRY CLUB
Lauraine: WOW!!! that’s a lot to deal with. We fight over money (although it hasn’t happened recently) He makes way more money than I do, and I am terrible with money. He is working two jobs and i have a full time job as well. Sometimes he’ll say things like “I am tried of working two jobs” and I internalize it. When he says that it makes me feel almost like I am not worthy of all this. Becuase i know he is doing this more for me than anything. He is paying a lot of wedding cost(and other billls alone) I help out where i can, which doesn’t seem to be a lot latley. We still havent bought our wedding invites and other paper goods. I’ve deciced I am just going to buy the stuff and not say anything about it. As far as the planning goes, that’s really been all me. He’s the money guy. We have meeting with our venue coordinator coming up money will be discussed at that time, we will argue about it(i am pretty sure about this). Maybe if i can learn to not say anything or voice my opinion at all, we can get through it. I just want it to be over, I WANT MY LIFE BACK!!! Wedding Planning is so stressful
Post # 7
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
absolutely_tati Well, all I can say is GET READY TO ARGUE. You probably have noticed already that wedding plannnig is very stressful and it seems to be the cause of so many arguments between the couple. Even buying paper goods will be a reason to argue for goodness sake. Invitations can be very expensive. My friend just spent over 400 $ for them and she found that to be very expensive. I on the other hand, did mine on the computer, put everything on a usb key and brought them to a printing place. They turned out very nice thank you. I put a little white ribbon on them, bought the envelopes and voila! They cost me less than a 100 $. The venue and the meal, the drinks, the wine is so expensive. We wanted something small and intimate for our wedding thinking it wouldn’t cost so much but even though we are going to be around 50 in all, I can’t believe that its going to cost us at least 10 000 $ for that one day. Yes its our day and I know some bees will probably say I’m lucky to only pay 10 000 $ for our wedding cuz I’ve seen some wedding costing aloooooooooooot more than that, but to each our own, I guess.
Good luck with your wedding planning and future discussions with your FI. You and I both know that in the end our FI will enjoy the day and so will we. That’s all that counts, doesn’t it?
Post # 8
Member
21 posts
Newbee
- Wedding: June 2015 - Beach
I completely understand and I believe it’s completely normal what’s going on. My FI and I haven’t really even started planning, but it can still get a little intense. But I’ve learned that I know what will push certain buttons so I nonetheless still approach it bc I too am VERY outspoken, but in a different way. Also, some things I just leave alone, I can’t control anyone else’s reaction BUT mine, so I just remind myself to take a deep breath bc I’m too blessed to be stressed! =)
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