(Closed) SO Stressed! Kids at wedding/ family drama rant (long)

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Wow, I totally feel your pain on this one, and I haven’t figured a way out without just letting people bring their kids. 

When we got engaged and set the date, the best man’s wife had a baby, but they volunteered that she wouldn’t be at the wedding (aged about 15 months on the day). So no problem there. The only other child is my 9 year old cousin, who’s pretty moody and antisocial, and has already officially said he wants nothing to do with my mum, and he said straight out he didn’t want to be there. Again, fine. All other less related/important kids can be covered by a “no kids” disclaimer. All kids not present and correct. 

Then my brother got engaged, then his fiancee fell pregnant (baby due 3 months before wedding). Problem. If his baby is there, what about best man’s baby? Then my aunt’s Boyfriend or Best Friend dumped her, so she couldn’t face coming alone, so moody 9 year old is back. If one cousin is there, then what about the other 3 child cousins (15, 9, 7), who are the only other kids in my whole family? Problem.

So now I’m stuck with one little baby, (I’ve told my brother that his fiancee can bring or not bring baby as she chooses, and leave early/attend one part only/whatever, as long as if the baby cries during the service, she takes it outside), an option on a toddler, a 9 year old (plus the exBF has returned, so my 140-capacity venue has a guest list of 143, not including me and my fiance) and the other cousins. 

Aren’t families fun!


Post # 18
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

You can’t expect people to be separated from their newborns, or even 2 month old infants.  Sorry.  You can ask, but don’t be surprised if they choose not to come at all instead, and they could be very hurt, especially if they’re close friends or relatives.  If I were you, I’d allow the 5 babies.  Babies-in-arms are a totally different category than toddlers/children, and people should understand that, so I wouldn’t think you’d have problems with other parents.  I think you should tell the 5 couples about the lack of amenities, and maybe they can just come to part of the reception.  Maybe your Brother-In-Law could stay with the baby at the hotel during the ceremony, and then bring the baby to your sister a little later.  But basically, people are going to prioritize their little babies over your event.  Sorry and good luck. 

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