Post # 1
I have been a lurker on Wedding Bee for a while now but have not posted but now I’m needing some major help !
I decided a while back that I wanted my ceremony and reception to take place at the same venue. Long story short… well shorter = )…. I found a venue, nice area for ceremony but then came question of an officiant. Due to my ignorance I assumed that I could, lack for a better phrase, hire a catholic priest and so I booked my reception site , for a sunday, without a worry. Upon further delving through websites I find that I can only have a “official” catholic ceremony in a church. So what do I do ? Do I ask my place if they are available on a sat and have ceremony in church? Fiance wants to be married by a priest but he loves the idea of the ceremony at our original site? Do I get married by the priest on a previous day to the reception and then go through with another ceremony on the official day? The latter is what Fiance wants to do. Im utterly confused. Can anyone offer a bit of advice………?
Post # 3
I think it will be too confusing to get married one day and then having a faked ceremony a day later at the location you chose. I’m guessing that you are Catholic and need to have a Catholic wedding in order to stay with your religion?
Post # 4
In some cases, you can get a dispensation, which would be the Catholic Church’s permission to have a wedding outside of a church. I’m not sure what the reasons for granting dispensations are, or if you have any special circumstances, but if you talk to a priest, he should be able to help you through the process.
Post # 5
Yes, I am catholic and in order of the marriage to be recognized by the church it must be done in a church. I also thought it would be too confusing to have separate days. Fiance says that the church ceremony would only be attended by only a handful of people and that the venue ceremony can still go on. But somehow , as silly as it sounds, I feel like then neither one will have that wow this is us getting married feel because the church ceremony will be small and no frills and the the venue ceremony will just be a fake repeat.. At this point I feel at such a loss as what to do.
Post # 6
I have an appointment with the priest next week to discuss options, if there are any. When I spoke with him on the phone, it did seem like the only option he would be discussing is the church ceremony before a reception kind of deal. We will see. The only exception to the not marrying in a church catholic wedding is if the diocese allows it and to my knowledge the only way that happens is under really dire circumstances like if one of you were so ill and could not make it to a church.
Post # 7
Well, if it is really important to you to have the full Catholic church ceremony, try calling and seeing if your venue is open for the Saturday. That sounds like a potential win-win situation.
Are both you and your fiance Catholic (or both Christian)? If not, there may be other options. I’m Catholic and my Fiance is Jewish. We can’t have a Catholic nuptial Mass because of this, so we are having an interfaith ceremony officiated by a rabbi, with a priest present, in a non-religious venue, and we are getting a dispensation for that so I’ll be cool.
Also, I have heard of something called “convalidation” where if you get married in a way that the Church does not recognize, you can somehow get the marriage convalidated in a later ceremony in the church. I have no idea how this works but it might be another alternative.
Hope this helps! It’s a difficult situation to be in.
Post # 8