Post # 1
I was invited to a “Bachlorett” party. I put that in quotation marks because both women throwing it for themselves are married. Neither of them are having vow renewals, but they both felt they missed out on having a Bachlorett parties.
And the thing that pisses me off the most is the one who’s wedding I was involved with had multiple parties leading up to her wedding that were all about her. She had 3 showers, a wedding party paintball outing, bowling and pizza night with her wedding party girls, and a mandatory sleep over the night before the wedding. All of which her bridal party helped with. So it wasnt the typical Bachlorett party of getting trashed. At that time, she didn’t drink.
This feels like a really big slap in the face at the girls who were involved with all these parties and her wedding. They were very supportive and she consistantly treats them like this. She put no work into either wedding of two of her bridesmaids. She put less work into throwing Bachlorett parties for either of these actual Bachlorett party than she is doing for her own.
I am not attending. Period. If she asks, I am washing my hair.
Thanks for reading. Not looking for advice, just venting.
Post # 3
These two ladies sound like self-centered attention whores. At least you recognize it. Won’t be surprised if you weed them out of your life sooner or later.
Post # 4
Just making an absolute stab in the dark to try and rationalise this… has her life changed in any significant way since marriage? What I mean is, is it possible that she feels isolated or lonely? Or perhaps the realities of marriage and the ‘come-down’ post wedding planning and festivities has gotten her a little blue and she’s coping in kind of a head-scratch inducing kind of way. Or, is it possible there is some marriage trouble and she wants licence to act like a wild version of her single self to tap into the person she may feels she’s lost?
Again, just grasping at straws. It could totally just be about both of them wanting a party they’re the centre of. I don’t blame you for not going one little bit!
Post # 5
@Misswhowedding: That’s terrible- who does that?! I don’t blame you for not going- SUPER tacky!! I hope no one goes.
Post # 6
Maybe they’re just trying to a make fun “excuse” and a reason to do a girls night out. Would the “event” be any different if they just called it a Saturday party?
Post # 8
Well, I am not a fan of the “getting trashed” kind of bachelorette party, and wouldn’t go to one like that these days in any case, but I suppose she can treat you all to a party and call it anything she wants. If you are expected to pay a dime, I wouldn’t go, though. As you say, she’s already well exceeded her quota of pre-wedding congratulatory events.
As for putting work into other people’s events, as a BM, her only obligation is to be dressed and be there for support on the day. And attend the rehearsal. Anything else is completely optional.
Maybe her BMs were able to afford more than she was for them or maybe she wants to treat everyone out to a night on the town now that she can afford it. Or none of the above and she is being just as self centered as you say.
Post # 9
What! It sounds like she had more than enough parties…
Post # 10
@Bette_Noire: Her marriage is in total trouble, but all the signs where there before they got married. They had money trouble (he tries to budget, she spent every cent they got in before he could stop her), including getting kicked out of their apartmemt. She hates his friends and is passive aggressive at him on facebook (see prior post about wanting popcorn, it’s the same girl). She isn’t isolated, she goes out three times a week. But still demands her husband gives up his hobbies. About 70% of her marriage problems come from her being demanding, passive aggressive, and bad with money. The other 30% stem from her husband doing nothing about it.
@weddingmaven: she hasn’t treated anyone on any party that she threw, including this one. She plans the party, and expects others to pay up. The hotel sleep over the night before the wedding she had the girls pay to spend the night, and most had to sleep on the floor. If she paid, I might consider going.
i get that throwing parties for others is completely optional part of a wedding party, but you are also not to throw this many parties for yourself. Pre or post wedding, you aren’t suppose to throw your own Bachlorett party. If she was doing this to throw a Bachlorett party, she could do this for the girl getting married this summer who was her bridesmaid and whom she will be a bridesmaid for.
@pinkshoes: If she did this as a girls night with no special attention on her it would be not be a big deal. From past experiences, she will have the Bachlorett sash and expect everyone to pick up her tab.
Post # 11
@Misswhowedding: well, if I liked the people going, I’d go and have fun. She can expect all she wants, but I’d be getting my drinks on my own separate tab or paying cash as I go.