Post # 1
My DH and I have had a bit of a whirlwind I suppose you could say. We met, moved abroad, planned a wedding and got married all in under 20 months. Not the fastest, maybe, but pretty quick by my standards.
Well last night we were both feeling a bit ‘meh’. The wedding is over and we’re both back into our second week back at work since it all – we’re back overseas too so the wedding and family all feel like a bit of a distant memory. I think we were both feeling the same and I’m not really sure how to explain it – absolutely not regrets or sadness or anything like that, while it’s only been a few weeks I love being married and I know that he is my ‘one’ – he feels the same. But we both kind of looked at each other and were like ‘wow, this is it hey?’. All the excitement, planning and celebration of the wedding is done and now it’s all down to us what happens from here.
I know we have so much to look forward to, the rest if our lives together and growing and changing together, but it’s almost as if it was the first time either of us had put any thought into what happens next! This is it, us, together (and with any luck) forever – it’s exciting, full of possibilities but in equal parts quite scary I think! Has anyone else felt the same?
Post # 2
Do you mind me asking your age? This is going to sound harsh, but… It sounds like you planned for a wedding but not a marriage.
Post # 3
I would think this is pretty common. A down-swing after the upswing is expected in life, at least in my experience. What have you always wanted to do? What about him? Find and explore a new hobby together, hiking, bike riding, working out, cooking, dancing, whatever. Also, I am a big fan of spouses having independence from each other and having friends/things they do alone. Not everyone likes this, yet I think it is a good thing. Just a thought, enjoy the memories you have, relax in your being newly married, decorate your home, travel, just have fun!
Post # 4
I think some of it is natural. You’ve had some big events to plan for/look forward to – moving abroad and planning a wedding – now maybe you don’t have any ‘big’ events on the horizon yet. I agree with PP, spend time with each other, find new interests/hobbies, etc.
Post # 5
Welshwife2014: All the excitement, planning and celebration of the wedding is done and now it’s all down to us what happens from here.
- Wedding: November 2009 - New York, NY
That’s right. Your marriage will be what you two make of it, which of course, it’s easier said than done.
Post # 6
No, and we won’t feel this way. We are getting married on our 4 year dating anniversary (next week) . This is far from new. I am content with the idea of our home life and relationship remaining the same, except maybe even better. The wedding is just one day. The marriage is the most important part! We are getting married because we are fully committed to being together for the exciting days as well as the mundane. Marriage is not a constant roller coaster ride, and if it is that is probably not a good sign. You have to be realistic about marriage. There will be fun and difficult times. I hope you are both prepared… Good luck!
Post # 7
I have seen plenty of posts here about post-wedding blues. It seems quite normal.
Post # 8
Thanks for all the replies! I think perhaps I could have explained myself better in some areas and perhaps I’ve confused things with my garbled explanation!
With the greatest respect, I don’t think my age has anything to do with it. I understand your point but I’m 100% comfortable with our reasons for getting married and they definitely were not just to have a wedding! In fact, people would ask what I was most excited about in the build up to the wedding and I would always say that I was more excited about being DH’s wife and continuing to build our life together than the actual wedding itself. I still feel that way! I appreciate your contribution though 🙂
Great suggestions! We are lucky in that we both have our own circle of friends back at home and a mutual circle where we live now. I guess some of it is down to the fact that we are living abroad but it’s only temporary – neither of us know until when though so in many ways I’m feeling frustrated that we can’t yet buy our own home and start laying down roots anywhere because any time in the next couple of years we’ll be on the move again. It’s the life we chose though so I need to suck it up!
Thanks! You’re absolutely right 🙂
I agree. we both entered the marriage for the right reasons, to be together and grow and build our lives together. Many people have told me that marriage is the hardest thing you’ll ever do! We are lucky – we get on so so well, understand each other and hardly ever argue, yet still I know that we will have some huge challenges ahead of us. Having said that, we’ll hopefully have some amazing adventures together too! I think last night was the first time it really dawned on me what a huge journey we have ahead of us and it is scary! But the more I think about it, the more I think that is actually ok. Being scared of something doesn’t make it a bad thing or mean you’ve made a bad choice, it means an understanding that there will be bad times as well as good. Thanks for your comments 🙂
Post # 9
I have definitely had those!! Thanks 🙂