(Closed) SO thinks engagement ring is a waste of money

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 46
Member
278 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015 - Red Barn Farm

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Aus_Bee:  That sucks. I would feel very hurt and would just be honest with him. That it hurts you that he doesn’t believe it’s important. I always joked with my Fiance (he’s a saver so he believes everything is too expensive) whenever he got particularly “huffy” < and that’s an extreme. I am not saying he was mad or upset to spend money but that it makes him very uncomfortable to spend money! So “huffy” is an overstatement! But whenever he wouild be uncomfortable I would just joke ‘keep in mind, you’re getting a wife out of this deal!” ha ha. But serously! 

I would just tell him how it’s upset you and that you don’t really “deserve” a ring but that it’s what you both talked about and you were hoping you could have that e-ring to showcase and show off how much he loves you. That’s what I feel my e-ring is. They always compliment the man for the ring – so really when we’re showing off our rings, we’re showing off our men! 

 

But in your shoes, I’d be very upset 🙁 

Post # 49
Member
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Well I’m still not sure you have a right to be upset exactly. It sounds like you haven’t been really expressing yourself well to your DH. If he doesn’t understand why the ring is important or what it means to you and you drop the subject easily, then he’s not going to take you seriously when you talk about it.

It’s kinda like my DH blindsiding me with how he hates that our walls aren’t painted with colors that suit us. When we moved in, our house was freshly painted top to bottom with grey. I thought that was great and didn’t see any issue with keeping it that way. I knew he didn’t like it, but he dropped it quickly so I figured it wasn’t a priority to him. Then one day a year later, in the middle of some other disagreement, he spits out that our house is entirely depressing to him! I had no idea! And how should I? He just let his frustration simmer and simmer in the background without talking to me about how he really felt. Don’t be like that. It’s not helpful to anyone.

Post # 50
Member
1526 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

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Aus_Bee:  I’m not trying to sound mean but this whole thing seems a bit silly. I can see how he thought an engagement ring later seemed like a good idea at the time but now that you’re actually married he doesn’t see the point and it seems a bit frivolous.

Buying yourself a ring after the wedding is not an engagement ring. 

Post # 51
Member
1225 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Maybe he’s thinking about a house, kids, vacation, early retirement, etc.?

Whether the ring you want is 3k or 30k, I’d discuss with him how this particular purchase can fit in to your larger financial goals. 

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