(Closed) SO thinks I'm ungrateful for wanting a moissanite

posted 8 years ago in Rings
Post # 152
Member
295 posts
Helper bee

[content moderated for snark, personal attack]

 

Post # 153
Member
5217 posts
Bee Keeper

I never heard of moissy prior to WB, but the real vs fake in conversations– do people really flat out ask you if your ring is real? No one has ever approached me with cut, clarity, size, real vs fake or anything other than ” beautiful ring, he did a good job!” . OP– you’ve gotten viewpoints from all angles of this in 4+ pages but my advice is just communication with your guy. He knows you and your situation way better than anyone else, I just hope you’ve considered some of the posts here showing his point of view. 

Post # 154
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Motor Yacht Destiny

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@puppiekisses:  I completely agree!

 

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@Lillianna:  Personally, I commend you for being open enough to receive a bigger moissanite than a smaller diamond, therefore letting go of your possible desire for a diamond to save your SO money and still get something you’d like.  You’re willing to compromise to be happy, so why shouldn’t your SO ALSO compromise to be happy? Why is it his way OR yours?  Definitely read what angietime suggested and look around, you can get the size you want and SO can buy you the diamond ring he feels you deserve!  Good luck and don’t fight, there is always a happy medium, and while at first one might jump to conclusions, if they look deeper, they’ll see that that happy medium can be reached!

Post # 155
Member
118 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Motor Yacht Destiny

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@yellow7404:  Honestly, I didn’t look into OP’s previous threads, but since you mentioned it, I feel that if her SO “didn’t know if she was the one” and now wants to propose but can’t even compromise on a ring, then he has a lot of personal soul searching to do to decide when he’ll be ready to buy a ring for the woman he loves, a ring that SHE’LL love, too, instead of playing guessing games.  I think he’s toying with her and that if her only choice is to “take what he offers” then that’s absurd.  First she should settle for a ring she won’t like, then she should settle for a man who isn’t even sure she’s the one – what’s next? Marriage and love aren’t about SETTLING, they’re about compromising and understanding and making choices together. 

Post # 156
Member
1621 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

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@yellow7404:  umm, free speech and all, but you’ve made your point and you continue to beat up the OP saying the same stuff.  

Post # 157
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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@Kittie128:  Thanks girl, and @Lillianna:  I hope you have a little time to shop around for all your options.  You’ll get something you’ll ultimately love, so don’t worry about tomorrow focus on what you can do now, which is bookmarking intersting prices topics and educating each other.  

Post # 158
Member
1542 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

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@Lillianna:  

“Umm, I’m dishonest because I wear cz and moissanite jewelry without advertising that it isn’t diamond”

No. If you’re asked if they’re diamonds and you say they are… yes, you are dishonest.

“and when people say my pie is tasty I don’t announce that it isn’t home-made?”

Yes. If you say “i made it” it is a lie, which is the same as being dishonest.

“I also dye my hair and don’t tell people I have grey hairs, and I wear a padded bra and false eyelashes.”

No.

“Oh, and I photoshopped my Facebook profile picture so my eyes looked a brighter blue. One of my teeth is a fake too, as I knocked one out while climbing a tree as a kid. I suppose I should announce that to everyone who says I have a lovely smile?”

You’re just being a bit ridiculous now

 

 

Look… I get that you want a bigger stone because your fingers are fat (that’s what you said)

Why dont you tell that to your FI? instead of “i want a big rock” just tell him “my fingers will look fatter and i’ll feel a bit selfconcious”

If you get your ring, whatever it is, rock it with pride, even if its a small diamond, hell ITS A DIAMOND! i dont even have a ring! (not that i care TBH)

If you get your Moissy rock it too, and if someone asks if it’s a real diamond (some people are just rude) tell the truth and say it’s a moissy, what’s the deal? you got your big rock, right?

Post # 159
Member
420 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I also wanted to point out that I’d never heard of a moissy before coming to the bee either.  However, I can usually tell the difference between a diamond and other similar looking stones.  I have always been able to tell the difference between diamonds and moissy’s, even though I didn’t know what the moissy’s were called before coming to the bee.  I don’t think the OP will be able to successfully fool very many people into thinking it’s a diamond, and quite frankly it bothers me (and her Fiance it sounds like) that she would try.  

I prefer the look of moissy, which is why I like them, but it sounds like the OP would rather have a huge diamond if that was an affordable option.  Since it’s not an affordable option, she’s “willing to settle for” a moissy.  I don’t think that’s a good reason to get a moissy and I can totally understand why her Fiance is upset by that attitude.  If she liked the way a moissy looked better than the way a diamond looked, that would be a whole different story.  It sounds like she likes the way diamonds look better though and would be trying to pass a moissy off as a diamond.  That’s one of the things that bothers me, and I’m sure that’s part of what bothers her Fiance too.

I also agree with PP about actually looking at a moissy before you decide for sure that’s what you want.  They do look very beautiful and very different than a diamond.  You might be singing a different tune once you see them.

Honestly though, why not just get a CZ if you’re only looking for something that can pass as a diamond but has a smaller price tag?  To most people I know, a CZ looks just as much like a diamond as a moissy does (we can all tell the difference though and I don’t know of anyone who’s mistaken a moissy for a diamond) and CZ is even cheaper than moissy in most situations.  Honestly, any person who has ever worn a diamond ring can probably tell the difference between a moissy and a diamond.  I’m not sure why OP is set on a moissy when it’s clear that what she acutally wants is not a moissy, but something that looks like a diamond that is cheaper than a diamond.  Moissy’s don’t look like diamonds to me.

Post # 161
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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@Anamagana:  Definately agree with your points, just ease a little with the judgements…yes other people may mask and do dishonest things, but focus past that because I can tell you are a bigger person than to upset someone you don’t know personally.  But I’m on board with you saying be confident in saying what you have and being proud of it.  I think the OP was meant to say what can she do before he makes a decision without consulting her feelings about it.  Being overlooked and your wishes being brushed off is no fun either.  

 

In any case, have a good night bees, hopefully we helped her sort out what to say.

Post # 162
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@Lillianna:  

Umm, I’m dishonest because I wear cz and moissanite jewelry without advertising that it isn’t diamond, and when people say my pie is tasty I don’t announce that it isn’t home-made? I also dye my hair and don’t tell people I have grey hairs, and I wear a padded bra and false eyelashes. Oh, and I photoshopped my Facebook profile picture so my eyes looked a brighter blue. One of my teeth is a fake too, as I knocked one out while climbing a tree as a kid. I suppose I should announce that to everyone who says I have a lovely smile? If that’s what you call dishonest then you’ve obviously been fortunate enough never to encounter real dishonesty.

it never occurred to me to not tell people that a pie is not homemade ( i do bake homemade stuff regularely so people asking is not odd…and if i didn’t i tell them where i got it)….I have NEVER photoshopped myself, and a friend once photoshopped me and i gave her shit (and she’s no longer a friend since her priorities were different than mine)….i have a friend who had his teeth knocked out and never professes his fakes are his (and is quite proud of them), and I have a gorgeous amber ring that Fiance bought me that I always say is amber…

i don’t get being fake about who you are…maybe it’s just WHO I AM….the face that honesty is the best policy….i dunno…even misleading people would feel wrong to me

Post # 163
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

maybe it’s also because i love myself and my life…”faults” and all

Post # 164
Member
748 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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@Lillianna:  for real if you need help with working on a budget message me, I have a lot of experience with my friends who are ring shopping now and their fiance’s put them through the same crap.  Hopefully he respects your opinion and tries to honor at least part of the request, even if he has to wait longer to save up it would be sweeter of him.  Or to give you a .50ct with the promise to at some point trade it in before you guys set the date.  Starting off is never easy.

Post # 165
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

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@smcs28:  edit:  i tell people i dye my hair…tell them i do it myself…and tell them the dye i use….it’s obvious that i do, cause i’m too lazy to keep it up 😀  but that’s just me….luckily no grey hair yet

Post # 166
Member
732 posts
Busy bee

I feel this is getting really off topic and now we are all “personality bashing” the OP.

The topic ‘SO thinks I'm ungrateful for wanting a moissanite’ is closed to new replies.

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